Deadly Games
by Alison Burns
Summary: When Reid shows up late to the BAU one day with a disturbing package in hand the team is thrown into a deadly game with one of the most dangerous unsubs they've seen in a long time. What happens when Reid disobeys orders to protect his team?
1. a little envelope changes everything

Chapter 1

"The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on." -Chuck Palahniuk

The day started off normally enough. The members of the BAU shuffled in one by one, Hotch first as always. He had expected Reid to be next, he usually got their early, but when Prentiss walked through the doors he let it go heading for his office. Rossi arrived next, Seaver beside him. He'd really become a great mentor for her since she'd joined the team. Hotch had though him the least likely of any of them to make a connection with the inexperienced newcomer but in a way he was glad that it was Rossi with all his experience and wisdom that had taken her under his wing. Morgan and Garcia arrived together a little while later, last as they often were but not late.

He watched through the blinds in his office window smiling as Garcia jabbed Morgan's stomach then tried to shove a donut from the box she was carrying into his protesting mouth. Of course, Morgan let her win but not without muttering good naturedly between bites about her donuts being the reason he was always at the gym which of course got Prentiss laughing and he thought he could see a small smile flit across Seaver's face before it vanished behind one of the books she was always carrying. The warmth in his stomach started to spread. The team was all together and they all just seemed to be in such a bright mood. This was what he lived for.

Except…except they weren't all together were they? Hotch felt the relaxed smile slide off his face. Reid was still not there and Morgan and Garcia almost never arrived before him. Whispers started in the back of his mind but he pushed them away. Reid was fine; there was no reason to suggest otherwise. He was probably just running late, maybe missed breakfast and got side tracked while picking something up on the way. He pushed the unwarranted worry back and walked out of his office to join the rest of his team. It was a testament to how long he'd been doing his job that when someone was more than 15 minutes late he started to worry.

"Anyone seen my junior G-Man yet?" Garcia questioned guarding her last donut from Morgan who was now making puppy dog faces at her. "Uh, uh, uh. If anyone needs this it's that skinny boy."

Hotch was glad someone else had asked the question before he'd had to. It wasn't on purpose, but Hotch knew he seemed to have a way of stressing people out when he asked those sorts of questions. Garcia…didn't. How could he when she called them names like junior G-Man?

"I'm not sure." Morgan's face was thoughtful. "You heard from him Hotch?" Hotch cleared his throat almost unconsciously.

"I was hoping one of you had.' There was a moment where each of the BAU members watched the others hoping Reid had called one of them. The quiet deepened and shifted intangibly as they realized he hadn't. If it had been any other one of them …but Reid was a stickler for the rules. He called ahead if he was going to be 3 minutes late, did as he was told. Reid was reliable. Those who had been around at the time hadn't seen anything like this from him since the aftermath of Tobias and the struggle with his drug addiction. Seaver and Rossi hadn't seen it at all. In fact, they probably didn't even know it had ever happened.

"Garcia, you start giving the briefing. I'll call him." Hotch headed towards his office again whipping out his phone. He clicked on Reid's picture and again on mobile then it began to ring. After several rings it went to voicemail. _Hello. This is Dr. Reid with the FBI's behavioural analysis unit. I'm sorry I missed your call but leave your name, number and a brief message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Did you know that the first telephone was developed in the – _Hotch hit end and let the phone slide to his desk. Damn, Reid.

Of course, it was then, just was he was starting to truly worry, that the young man came barrelling through the BAU's doors. His face was devoid of what little colour it usually had and he looked out of breath like he'd been running. Hotch barely realized he had left his office until he was standing in front of the young genius. It also wasn't until that moment that he realised Reid was holding a large envelope in his hands. His read rimmed eyes widened as they focused on Hotch and then Reid did something very uncharacteristic. He threw his arms around his boss and hugged him. Hotch stiffened in surprise, out of all of them Reid was by far the least comfortable with physical contact. When Reid finally pulled away Hotch could see tears streaming down his face causing his stomach to clench. Something was wrong, something as very wrong.

"Reid are you-"

"Where are the others?"

"They're in the other room -"

"All of them?"

"All of them." Reid practically fell into his desk chair. "Reid are you alright?" Reid looked like he was trying to find the words but in the end just handed the envelope in his clenched fists to Hotch.

"Open it." The tears in Reid's eyes were still coming. He didn't even seem to realise they were there.

Hotch, with nothing else to do, reached his hand into the envelope and pulled what was inside out. It was a stack of pictures. He glanced at the first one and felt his head reel, ringing in his ears started, and he had to do all in his power to keep the bagel he had eaten for breakfast from coming back up. It wasn't possible, it didn't make sense…

The picture was of him. He was lying on the floor of an alley he recognised as being near his house. He was very clearly shot twice in the chest, and very clearly dead. His hand went to the pot on his chest automatically but he pulled it away and, with a growing sense of dread, stuck the photo at the back. He had to see the others. The next was of Garcia slumped against her computer chair bullet through the forehead, blood pooling. With each picture the panic in his chest grew. Morgan's throat cut body outside the BAU. Rossi on the table of Hotch's office, strangled. Prentiss with a bullet through the side of the head, she was crumpled over her desk. Seaver was last. He didn't recognize the setting but it was in some kind of house (he assumed her apartment). There was a lot of blood and bruising but it wasn't clear what had done the damage. He lifted his head and met Reid's eyes.

"What…what are these?"

Reid had to swallow twice before he could answer. "They were left at my place this morning. There was a note too…" Reid turned a shade paler.

"What did it say Reid?" He was struggling to keep his poise, his control. "We have to know."

"It said grieve while you can, you're next."

Hotch couldn't hold the bile down any longer. He dropped the pictures and ran for the bathroom making it just in time to spew his insides all over the sink. He felt his stomach emptying and wanted to scream. No! No! No! His worst nightmare. His worst nightmare right there documented in pictures. He felt his stomach heave again his mouth already on fire.

_**Hey! So take a second to let me know what you think. You know the review button loves the attention =P.**_


	2. believe

Chapter 2

Just because something is unbelievable does not mean you shouldn't believe it. Put another way, some things are worth believing in whether they're true or not. - Jeb Dickerson

Reid just stared after his boss. The smart thing to do would have been to gather the pictures up so the team wasn't shocked by them when they finished their briefing but he couldn't make himself move. He was glued to his chair from shock, from horror, and from relief.

He'd thought, just a couple of precious minutes previous, that nearly every person on the face of the planet that he gave a damn about was gone. What scared him most, now, was that he hadn't wanted to be left behind. If they were gone, what did he have left to hold onto? The BAU, the people in it, they were his life. If they were going down, so was he. It would be a hell of a lot easier than being left behind.

Reid shook his head violently turning his thoughts to dust as the rest of the team left the conference room and started towards him. His eyes flitted from Morgan to Prentiss to Seaver to Rossi to Garcia and he felt tears threatening again but he held them back. They were walking, they were smiling, they were breathing and talking and laughing and their hearts were beating. They hadn't yet joined the ranks of the many that had left him before he got a chance to say goodbye. Why was he so upset?

"Reid, you're here." The team drew closer. "Where's Hotch?" Morgan's words ran through him like and electric shock delivering him back to the present. Reid sprang from his desk, nearly knocking his chair over, and crouched on the other side of it grabbing the pictures one by one.

"Bathroom," he choked out. He was trying not to look at the pictures which just made his task more difficult. He realised then that his hands were shaking and he cursed them. Seaver was the first to reach him.

"Need help?"

"No!" He was louder and harsher than he'd meant to be and immediately regretted it. It was almost a shout except that his voice broke right in the middle of the word. "Really, Ashley, it's fine." He added for good measure, shifting his body so that his back was to them and his hunched over position would hide the pictures still on the floor. He grabbed the last one and straightened up careful to keep them back forward and pressed tightly against his chest.

"Wooh." Prentiss whistled. "Protective."

"Yeah pretty boy, what ya got their? Morgan added raising his eyebrows and wiggling them.

"None of your business." The look dropped off Morgan's face.

A wave of anxiety pulsed through Reid so strong it almost knocked him off his feet as he looked into Morgan's concerned face. He didn't want his friend to know, he didn't want him to have to deal with that. Hotch was the ever stoic one, Hotch was the strongest. He could handle anything. Yet…look how he'd reacted. If that was what Hotch had done, how would the rest of the team react?

"Reid, Reid are you okay?" He blinked just realising that Morgan was trying to talk to him.

"You have to show them." Hotch's voice succeeded in cutting the rest of the way through the haze. When had he come back?

"Show us what Hotch?" Morgan's impatience was seeping through now. He wasn't used to his boss and Reid having a secret he wasn't in on. Reid sighed.

"I found these siting in an envelope on my front steps this morning…" Slowly, reluctantly, Reid laid the photos out on the table. Hotch had regained his stoic composure. Reid was glad one of them would be able to help the others through because as he stared at the pictures again he knew it wouldn't be him. Tears threatened for the umpteenth time that morning and he felt the emptiness in the pit of his stomach that had first appeared when he opened the package earlier that morning reappear. It hurt physically, like an ache, making it impossible to breathe.

"No." Garcia's voice was soft, her eyes mirroring the sorrow Reid felt. Prentiss had unconsciously put her hand on Garica's shoulder but all the colour had left her face. Rossi looked cold and distant. To someone who didn't know the team, it would have looked like he was the least affected even compared to Hotch. Reid knew that he was trying to block the images that already haunted the older agent in his sleep every night. Morgan looked unsure and then angry.

"What the hell, Hotch. What is this? What kind of sick bastard would pull a stunt like that?"

"I'm not sure, but I promise you we'll find out Morgan."

Seaver had gone paler than Prentiss and was now sweating hard. No one noticed her swaying back and forth until she fell backwards into Morgan who quickly set her down in a chair.

"She's out cold."

"I'll get her some water." Prentiss spun on her heels and headed for the fridge.

So much was going on that they nearly missed the quiet yet insistent knocking at the door.

It was Reid who answered it. He opened the door to see a young man, maybe 22 or 23. The first thing he noticed was the man, the second was the large, familiar envelope he was carrying. Reid's heart beat fast. He didn't want any packages, thank you very much. All he wanted was to be left alone.

"You Dr. Reid?" The dread inside him increased.

"I am. You'd better come inside." The man shook his head holding the envelope out to him.

"My instructions are to give this to you and leave immediately."

"Instructions?"

"Yah. Some guy stopped me in front of the building and asked me to give it to you. Said…said people would die if I didn't." Reid could barely hear the man over the pounding in his ears.

"Hotch." he called out before turning back to the man. "If you don't come inside I can pin you for obstruction of justice, do you want that?" The man shook his head quickly hurrying across the threshold. "Hotch!"

"Reid?" Hotch was there, beside him, and he could think again.

"We need to secure the perimeter, I think our unsub was just out there." Hotch nodded face determined

"Morgan!"

Their unsub, of course, had been long gone. They'd expected it but still procedure was procedure. They had to try. Reid was glad when Morgan took responsibility for questioning their young delivery man. He sat away from the others surrounded by the comfort of his desk while the others milled around seeming pleased to have something, anything, to distract them. Sitting in his lap was the latest envelope, still unopened. His hands had gone to the seal several times but they always refused to go further. He couldn't do it, he couldn't. God he was weak.

"You know, you're going to have to open it sometime." Reid stared up into Prentiss's understanding eyes.

"I was sort of hoping to put that off for as long as possible…"

"Want to do it together?" he returned her slight smile with a nervous one.

"Sure."

Prentiss took one of her gloved fingers and unceremoniously broke the tape seal.

Reid reached his hand in, feeling the spell was broken. He would have to see at one point or another; it might as well be now. He grimaced as he felt the unmistakable gloss of an enlarged photo touch the end of his hands. But there was only one this time, with it felt like a piece of paper. With sickening certainty he knew what he was going to find. He pulled his hand back in one, quick, jerky motion before he lost his nerve bringing the content of the envelope with him.

He'd expected the picture of himself but still his breath caught as his eyes fell upon it. It was worse, so much worse, than the others. He recognised his living room; his body was on the couch carefully laid out on the couch, head on a couch pillow and hands at his sides. He'd remembered his couch as being beige, but nearly every part of it he could see in the picture was red. A deep, sickening, blood red. Probably from all the stab wounds to his torso – a quick count showed 28 but there were probably more he couldn't see – and the fact that the side of his skull had been bashed in. Head wounds always did bleed a lot…

It was then that he noticed his arm, the right one. Crudely carved out of the flesh there was a single word – believe.

"Oh god…Reid." He squeezed his eyes shut then opened them again because it didn't make a difference. The picture was seared onto his retinas.

"I'm fine." Even to him it sounded like a lie.

Somehow he managed to keep a hold of himself. He pushed the picture away with trembling fingers and grabbed the piece of paper that had been delivered with it. It was a note addressed to him.

_Hello, Dr. Spencer Reid. How's your morning going? I trust by now that you've discovered that my little pictures were a hoax which is why I've sent you one of your own. Clever, right? I also trust that you realise, being a genius and all, that they didn't have to be. I could have just as easily wiped out your team, killed each and every one of them, just for the pleasure of it. I could still do it. Oh, but don't worry, I'm not interested in them. They're just a way of keeping you in line, insurance of a kind so you don't do anything stupid. You're the one who betrayed me, so I'm interested in you. In fact, if you follow directions well, if you follow mine, your team might come out of this whole thing unscathed. I can't say the same for you, you have to pay for what you did. They, however, are innocent. I might in the end leave them quietly to grieve – I'm not unreasonable, I can be negotiated with, as long as you do as I say. There's one thing I absolutely won't budge on though. You will be mine, and I will make you feel the pain I've gone through. The BAU will have to go on without its pet Dr. Spencer Reid. How many cases will they solve without you? I guess we'll have to see. Agent Hotchner will of course blame himself which is a shame but I think with time he'll get over it. They all will. You're not as irreplaceable as you believe, Dr. Reid. And that's the danger, isn't it, with a job like yours. Believing you're worth more than you are. Worth more to the team, worth more to a profile, worth more to your friends. Believing they would give their lives for you because you would give yours for them. Believing they care about your facts and that when they ask how you are they wait for the answer. Believing, believing, believing in the lies and refusing to see the truth. Believe this, Dr. Reid. Unless you're standing outside your apartment tonight at midnight, unarmed and alone, one of those pictures will become a very tangible, very bloody reality. Time to choose, Dr. Reid, Tobias Hankel got that much right at least. Choose what's important, what's worth risking everything for. Is your team worth that? _

_-unsub. _

_(Yes, I know you call us that. It must be killing you not to know who I am. That's alright, you won't have to wait much longer.)_

_I'll be seeing you soon, Dr. Reid. _

_**What do you think? I'm dying to hear your opinions on this chapter I enjoyed writing it a lot though I'm still not sure about the reactions of some of the team members. Please take a second and review! Thanks to all those who have you've inspired me to update so soon. This looks like it's going to be a fun story to write (yah I know I'm questioning my sanity a little bit to right now…)**_


	3. retaliation

Chapter 3

"_Last night I had a revelation_

_Somehow I have to make you pay_

_It's all about manipulation_

_And what it takes to get my way_

_I don't believe in soft solutions_

_No one makes a fool of me_

_Without receiving retribution_

_No one hurts me and goes free_

_I'll play on your fears, I'll leave you in tears_

_You'll never be the same, my friend_

_You're walking a line, it's a matter of time_

_You'll never rest easy again_

_I've got the power to bring you down_

_I've heard it said, to err is human_

_It's forgiveness that's divine_

_I thought about forgiving you, but_

_I want revenge, I want what's mine_

_I think it's time to settle scores now_

_It's time to set the record straight_

_You'll know it's coming, you won't know how_

_Or when, you'll have to watch and wait_

_I'll play on your fears, I'll leave you in tears_

_You'll never be the same, my friend_

_You're walking a line, it's a matter of time_

_You'll never rest easy again_

_I've got the power to bring you down_

_You know, it feels intoxicating_

_To be intimidating_

_It's invigorating_

_To see you shaking_

_I've got the power to bring you down_

_You know something, you see it coming, _

_You know I will stop at nothing." – Red Delicious_

The team was all sitting around the conference room table.

"Absolutely not, Reid." Hotch's voice was fierce. The kind of tone you didn't argue with. Reid did anyway.

"We could try and draw him out. Post police around where he can't seem them. Wire me. Hotch I can do this! It's not like I would even be in any danger I –"

"Not in any danger Reid!" Hotch's voice rose his face becoming dark. He grabbed the photo of Reid sitting in the middle of the table and shoved it in his face. "Is this what you want to happen, is that how you want to end up?" He was breathing hard. "Because that's what he wants to do to you!" The team watched the exchange in silence, wide eyed.

"He threatened you guys." Reid's voice was soft, small, in comparison to Hotch's. "If he came after one of you…"

"It won't happen, Reid." Morgan had stepped in for Hotch who seemed unable to speak, his eyes stormy. "They're already issuing us all protection as we speak."

"What if it isn't enough."

"Reid." It was Hotch again. "This is my decision as your boss and you have to abide by it. That, or pack your bags and don't come back. I can't use an agent who won't follow orders." Silence. Reid shot his boss a very un-Reid like glare.

"Fine."

Hotch's face softened. "I know how hard this is for you Reid, but it's for the best." He shifted to face the rest of the team. "We have a lot of work to do. Seaver, get the note and envelops down to forensics. They probably won't find much on the envelopes except Reid's fingerprints on the first and our delivery man's on the second but it's worth a shot. Garcia – how skilled computer wise would our unsub have to be to make those pictures convincing?"

"Very. It's all in working from a base photo and manipulating it, building it up, changing colours, anything and everything. It takes practise to know what to do."

"Good. Look for classes in digital photography – online as well, with registrants in our area."

"Also check the background of anyone close by working as a professional photographer, particularly in a modeling agency. They have access to the kind of equipment needed to create the photos and the experience – you should see what they do to those photos." Prentiss added. Garcia nodded flipping her laptop open. She had been nervous about returning to her office after seeing the pictures so she's had her laptop brought out.

"I shall have what you need so fast the earth's rotation will reverse and time shall go backwards."

"The rest of the team use Reid to start pulling case files. Start with anything where Reid played a larger than usual role and the unsub did time but is now, for whatever reason, no longer behind bars. Also look into any cases where threats were made specifically against him either by the unsub themself or family members." An almost imperceptible pause and then Hotch continued. "Look back over Hankel as well. At the very least the unsub knows the case well, too well. It could be a relation we missed the first time over, a friend, or it could even be a law enforcement officer who worked on the case with us. On second thought, Garcia, maybe it's best to widen your searches to include Georgia as well."

Reid paled. That wasn't exactly a part of his life he wanted to delve back into. Everyone had their dark points in their life, that kidnapping and later drug addiction were his. He was so caught up, the memories flooding, that he didn't notice the inquisitive confusion evident on Rossi's face.

"What happened on that case? I've heard you talk about others, but never that one." The whole room went instantly quieter. Reid stayed silent hoping Rossi would take the hint. No, they certainly didn't talk about it. Rossi put a hand on Reid's shoulder.

"I understand its hard Reid. I understand this all is. But if you want me and Ashley to be able to help we have to know. Otherwise we're a liability."

Reid felt a shiver run involuntarily down his spine but he knew Rossi was right. Besides, it had been years, shouldn't he be over it by now. He took a deep breath and nodded in Rossi's direction. He would fill his newest team mates in on what had happened but not more than he had to.

"Rossi and I will focus on Tobias together. Ashley too once she's done with forensics." Rossi smiled gratefully but his eyes were sad.

"I also want everyone to know," Hotch breathed in heavily, "That Strauss has removed us from the case we were about to take and reassigned it just until this mess is over but we don't want our unsub to know that. We show up here every day as if we're still working it. If he's watching us, like we think, then he'll know by the police presence that we're not joking around but we can't let him think he's gotten too far into our heads. Police will be present at all times as escorts and will watch each of our houses along with the BAU. Even so, I don't want anyone taking any chances. No one goes anywhere for the next little while without another member of the team with them. Is that clear?" Nods all around the table, Reid's coming last. None of them were willing to argue with Hotch. Besides, they knew how fast threats could turn ugly if they weren't taken seriously. Sometimes, even, if they were.

"Let's get started."

Aaron Hotchner was frustrated. No, Aaron Hotchner was angry. Angry that someone was threatening his team, threatening Reid. Angry that in nearly 13 hours of research, of hectic phone calls and Garica's furious typing, that they had only one thing – nothing. He cursed as he made his way up the walk in front of his house police men beside him. There just wasn't enough to go on. As they'd expected, forensic analysis of the envelopes and not had been a dead end and Garica's research hadn't turned up anything unusual, at least not yet. Reid was doing his best to point out cases they'd worked on that he felt the unsub they'd profiled could be capable of what was happening now but there were just too many files. Even the genius's brain had its limits. He'd wanted to keep searching longer, but he knew that his team couldn't stay at it forever, they needed rest. So around 10:30 he'd sent them to text an update in the morning and that they would reconvene early back at the BAU. The others were taking his advice to heart making plans to stay with one another. Rossi had volunteered to be partnered with him but Hotch knew that his team mate, if given the choice, would rather be paired with Seaver so he could make sure she was alright so he'd politely declined. Garcia and Morgan had quickly paired up and Emily had surprised him by informing him that she was staying at Reid's house. Hotch had shrugged off their protests and decided to stay on his own. He'd already called earlier t have Jack taken to his aunt's house until the whole thing was over.

He would be fine, he thought as the policeman instructed him to lock all his doors and windows. His thoughts were with the others. Would the unsub try and attack one of them because he'd ordered Reid to stay inside? Reid would blame himself if it happened but that wasn't fair to the poor kid. It hadn't been his call, it had been Hotch's. He just hoped it was the right one.

After securing the last of his windows Hotch flopped onto his couch and was just about to pick up the remote when he thought he heard a noise upstairs. He felt a burst of adrenaline kick through his body trying to run wild inside him but he held it back grabbing calmly for his gun. No one was supposed to be inside the house, no one. It had already been cleared and all the police officers were now outside. He made his way to the kitchen raising his gun as he did so. Before he could react, someone had stepped out from behind the doorway and he had the cold metal of a gun pressed to his forehead.

"Drop the gun, Agent Hotchner, or you'll taste lead. Am I clear?" The voice was calm, cold, calculating. "Now, agent."

He laid his gun down slowly on the floor, wishing there was some way he could alert the police officers sitting just outside. The man with the gun to his skull seemed to read his mind. "Any noises, Agent Hotchner, anything, and you won't be the only casualty Dr. Reid finds in the morning." He nodded slowly. If someone was going to pay for his decision, it was only right that is was him. He couldn't let the others take the fall.

"What do you want?"

"I want to teach you a lesson." The man smiled in a way that made Hotch want to shiver. "Did you really think it would be that easy? Did you actually believe that a couple of police men would keep you and your team safe?" He shook his head back and forth. "Should have taken your own advice, agent Hotchner. Pairing up, a smart idea."

There it was, that smile again. The man pulled the gun away from his head and aimed it lower, at his chest. Hotch barely had the time to realise it had been modified so it wouldn't make any sound before the man pulled the trigger twice sending waves of pain roaring through him. He let out a short gasp and fell to the tile floor. "Tell Dr. Reid that this was a warning. Next time, there won't be any second chances." The gunman walked behind him and out of sight. He heard the man go back up the stairs and in that moment Hotch wasn't sure he would get the chance to pass on the message. The last thing he heard was a second voice, upstairs, talking to the man who had shot him.

He's not working alone, Hotch realised. Then darkness claimed him for its own.

_**Looks like poor Hotch is in trouble! I wanted to thank everyone for all the lovely reviews. I'm floored that you guys are enjoying reading this even half as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Next time: guilt consumes Reid and another note is on its way. Don't forget to review, it makes me want to write more if I know you're reading!**_


	4. a decision

Chapter 4

_"Every day we make choices, and every night we must sleep with the consequences of those choices." - unknown_

Emily Prentiss's phone went off not long after midnight. It instantly put both her and Reid on alert as they watched it buzz in the middle of the table. There was a moment where neither of them moved and then Emily reached for the phone.

"Emily Prentiss." Reid watched her listen her face growing grim yet determined and his stomach dropped. He knew that look, it was her way of dealing with bad news. "Yes sir, I understand. We'll be right over." Her phone clicked shut.

"What is it?" His hands were coiled in fists his voice tight.

"It…it's Hotch. He was shot in his apartment. The ambulance is on the way to the hospital now, the team's meeting there." Reid squeezed his eyes shut as he sucked in a breath.

"How bad?"

Hesitation. "It's bad, Reid." She kept talking, but everything after that was a blur of meaningless sounds and motions.

The BAU team, minus Hotch, was gathered in the waiting room. Reid thought he was going to explode from waiting. He had to know that Hotch was alright, would make it through. He had to know that he hadn't caused the death of their leader, the one who always held them together when things got tough. The rest of the team was carefully avoiding his eyes as he paced up and down the room and he knew they would never admit it, not even to themselves, but they blamed him. They blamed him and they should. This was about him, and he wouldn't put them in danger any longer.

A nurse walked into the room and everyone was suddenly very still. "We managed to stabilize him and he should make a full recovery. He lost a lot of blood, but thankfully the bullets missed any vital organs. He's out of surgery but still very weak so it's probably best if you don't visit him till morning."

The members of the BAU let out a collective breath they hadn't realised they'd been holding. Garcia's face even broke into a shaky smile. Reid felt his chest lighten, but only for a moment, then the weight was back. This wasn't over, not by a long shot. If they kept doing what they were doing someone else would get hurt and they would be back in this room facing the unthinkable. Why couldn't the others see it, didn't they understand that he couldn't ask them to keep putting their lives on the line again and again for him? This time they had gotten off easy. Next time they might, probably wouldn't, be so lucky.

Hotch was asleep when visitors hours started early the next morning and Reid didn't want to wake him so he sat quietly in the visitor's chair near the edge of the room. He was the first person to see Hotch by some unspoken consensus the team had come to and the sight almost made him sick. Paler than usual, attached to monitors by countless cords, he looked so helpless. Reid wasn't exactly used to him looking so vulnerable, vulnerable at all, it was unnerving. Hotch was always the rock and now, more than ever, the team needed a rock.

"This is all my fault." The words fell of his lips in a whisper before he could stop them. And he didn't want to stop them, they were the truth. "I'm so sorry Hotch." He flinched in surprise as Hotch's eyes snapped open. They were clouded with sleep, pain, and medication but even so Reid could tell they were focused on him.

"You're always blaming yourself for things you can't help." Hotch's shaky voice wafted across the room. Reid felt the guilt gnaw at his stomach even harder as he pulled the chair he was sitting in closer to the hospital bed.

"Hotch, you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me."

Hotch tried to shake his head back and forth and grimaced in pain. "Our work brings us into contact with the sickest of them all, Reid, you know that. Don't blame yourself because someone decided to make you a target. None of us want that."

"I can't let you guys take my falls for me." Alarm crossed Hotch's face and his heart monitor showed it was beating faster. A nurse rushed in pushing Reid roughly out of the room. Before she succeeded, Hotch spoke one last time.

"Don't do anything stupid, Reid." His voice waivered and he fell back into unconsciousness, exhausted from the short exchange, while Reid re-joined the rest of the team. He wasn't sure why he didn't tell them what Hotch had said, and he couldn't say why he didn't even mention that their boss had briefly been awake. Garcia, who had insisted she be next in the list of visitors, certainly wouldn't find him that way. She shot him a comforting smile before hurrying from the room. Rossi was studying him intently, Reid found he was too exhausted, to drained, and to distracted to care.

"How is he?"

"As good as can be expected." Reid's voice was devoid of life.

"You should go home, change your clothes and grab a few hours sleep." Rossi's voice was soft, encouraging.

"I'm alright, none of us have really gotten much rest in the last little while."

"We'll be doing the same once we get a chance to see him."

He didn't want a change of clothes or to rest. What right did he have to sleep when it was he who had caused all this. Reid's face swept over his team looking for support but he found none. All eyes were on him expectantly. He shrugged, more harshly than he'd meant to, and stood up.

"I'll see you back at the apartment Emily." She barely had time to nod before he pushed past her covering the hospital hallways in long strides and breaking through the entrance doors into mocking sunshine.

The drive didn't take as long as it should have. He was barely aware of what he was doing, his motions automatic, but he had to have been going fast. It was a good thing he'd already put the car in park before his eyes went to his mail box or he probably would have sent it barrelling through a wall in shock. He let himself out of the driver's seat and locked it quickly bounding up the steps. He had to get close, make sure it was what he thought I was, had to be sure.

And it was. His heart almost stopped beating.

An envelope. Just like the other two. He felt his body slowly turning so he could search the street around him for someone suspicious but it was empty, devoid of anyone and everyone except him. He grabbed the package and walked inside shutting the door behind him and locking it. He kicked off his shoes and sitting down at the kitchen table pried open the seal with shaking fingers. Better to get it over with then to let the suspense be its own sick kind of torture. He reached his hand in and felt a couple of pictures along with another piece of paper. Another note. This time, it wasn't the pictures he dreaded. He could deal with whatever horror those brought him. No, this time it was the unknown words already haunting him he knew would be written on that page. Because he understood that whatever they ordered him to do, whatever they said, he would comply. He would follow orders whether Hotch approved it or not, which he wouldn't. He couldn't risk his team getting hurt again, not because of him.

He breathed in deep and pulled his hand out. The pictures were of Hotch, lying in his home, the blood everywhere. He knew that they weren't fake this time, that this was the horror the paramedics had found when they entered his home last night. He pushed them aside feeling bile rise in his throat and grabbed the note.

_You should have listened to me Dr. Reid. I was perfectly reasonable, I gave you a chance. I even told you what would happen and you willingly put the lives of your team mates in danger. The only reason Agent Hotchner isn't dead right now is because I'm feeling generous. I won't give you so much leeway again. This time, if you don't comply with my wishes, one of them will die. I will personally feel the life leave their body and there will be no hope of it coming back. I got around the police last time, I can do it again. You know that, don't you, so play nice. I do believe it's time that we met each other, don't you? We have been so much on each other's minds. _

_ 7 o'clock tonight. Take a stroll down 5__th__ street. I'll be seeing you there. _

_Oh, and Dr. Reid. No policemen. If I find one tailing you, don't believe I'll show any mercy._

Reid couldn't get enough air into his lungs as his world started to spin and he grabbed onto the table to steady himself. This was it, this was really happening.

He had to find a way to ditch Prentiss and the cops tonight; he just wasn't quite sure how he was going to do it.

_"According to the ancient Greeks, when Hercules was a boy, just reaching the period of life when there was a question in his mind which path he should pursue, he went forth by himself and sat down and meditated. There came to him someone in the form of a beautiful young woman. "Hercules, I know what you want," she said "the path that I will point out to you will bring pleasure, will bring you constant place in society, will bring you the choice things of life, to eat and to drink and clothing to wear. You shall be popular in the society in which you shall move, and your whole life will be one constant round of pleasure." "What is your name?" Hercules asked. "My enemies call me Vice, but my friends call me Pleasure," she replied. Then there appeared to him another beautiful woman and she said: "Hercules, I shall not deceive you; the path I shall point out to you will be a path of labor, a path of toil, a path of self-sacrifice, a path in which you must devote a great deal of your effort and energy; you will have to forget yourself; you will have to serve your friends; you will have to serve the people of Greece; but if you will take this path and pursue it, although it may bring to you much toil and privation and many sacrifices, you shall become immortal." Hercules asked: "What is your name?" She replied: "My name is Duty." " - unknown_

_**So what do you think? Thanks you once again to all the people who read and especially for all the reviews I have gotten. You guys are truly amazing I can't tell you how much it means to me! I love you all and don't worry, I plan to update soon (it helps I have a 6 hours flight today – lots of writing time =P). **_


	5. 7 o'clock

Chapter 5

He felt like he'd been staring at the note for hours, hours, before he finally stuck everything back inside the envelope and slips it underneath her couch safe in the knowledge that Prentiss would not stumble onto it there accidently. Not until it was time for her to see.

He climbed into bed after that and tried to sleep, intent that nothing should look out of place. These were profilers he was dealing with; they knew when something was wrong. The only advantage he had was wrong. The only advantage he had was that he knew all the tricks and traps too. That, and they already expected him to feel upset. He closed his eyes and laid their but sleep wouldn't come. He hadn't expected it to – not with his mind running statistics and probabilities.

Hotch came to again. This time he felt stronger, more with it. The first thing he did was ask to talk to Reid. The request was directed at Rossi, currently sitting in the visitor's chair. And the older agent shuffled uncomfortably.

"I sent him home, Aaron, he looked exhausted. I don't think he got any sleep at all last night. The kid's taking it hard." He noticed Hotch's fists clenched around his bed sheets. "What is it, what's wrong?"

"You sent him home. Alone?" His spine tingled with one of those feelings he sometimes experienced. Something was wrong with Reid.

"The kid needed time to sort things out in his head –"

"What if he gets another letter, huh? What then?"

"I'm sure he'd phone and tell us –"

"Really?" Hotch shot him a look. "Would you in his position? He's blaming himself." A moment of silence and then Rossi sprung to his feet.

"I'll tell Emily to meet up with him."

"Dave." Hotch called him back inside the room. "I'm fine, by the way. I don't need any babysitting. Take the night off and let everyone get some sleep but starting tomorrow morning I want you back at the BAU working the profile like this is any other case. You're in charge." Hotch's stoic composure faded a little. "Also, double security around all the houses and make sure none of the policemen on shift are the same as those working last night. They got in and out of my house after it had been cleared which means they had to have someone on the inside. I also heard two voices before I blacked out which means, logistically, there's probably at least three of them involved. The other police officers would have noticed if one of their own was disappearing for any length of time." Hotch grimaced as he tried to sit further up in his hospital bed .He tried to hide it but it was obvious to Rossi and he knew it.

"I just wish I wasn't stuck in here."

"Focus on healing, we can look after ourselves." Rossi said and turned away. He turned back again his eyes deep with what he had seen over the years. "You're telling Reid not to blame himself, maybe you need to take your own advice." Then he was gone leaving Hotch alone. He didn't see him lean his head back on the pillows propping him up and sigh loudly just like Hotch didn't see Rossi whip out his phone when he was out of sight, speed dial Reid, and hang up without a word when the young genius answered his voice thick with sleep. If anyone asked later he would say he had dialled him by accident. No one would question it, it wasn't an uncommon occurrence. He just had to make sure his team mate was alright.

Somehow he had managed to fall asleep but although he was tired he'd been grateful when his phone rang because it hadn't been a restful one. The images of his team mates dead, of the horrors Hotch had endured on his behalf, and the unsub's taunting words had haunted his dreams.

"Hello?"

Click. The line went dead as Reid stared at the number. Only Rossi. He was always doing that. He threw himself out of bed knowing that Prentiss would probably be home soon and she was. He barely had time to change his clothes and run a comb through his hair (not that it did much) before she walked in the front door.

Now came the hard part. He plastered on a small smile and met her in the living room as she was taking off her shoes.

"How's Hotch?"

"Rossi talked with him before I left. He seems to be doing better although, being Hotch, he's impatient as all hell to get out." It was an attempt at her old humor, an attempt to make his day just a little brighter even though hers was sucking too, and he couldn't voice in words how much he appreciated it. At the same time, it made his insides ache. Her fierceness, her strength, was just one of the reasons he would do what he was going to do. Along with Hotch's stubbornness, Garica's ability to brighten even the darkest day with her colours and words, Morgan's passion, Rossi's heart and caring nature, which popped up in the most unexpected moments when he thought no one was looking, and for everything he knew Seaver could become. He would do it because they fought every day against the monsters of the world to keep to goodness shining and because sometimes they lost but there were always ways of minimising the losses. Things the world could live without and things it couldn't. The world needed what his team mates – his friends – brought to the table of the BAU every day.

"Reid? Reid are you alright?"

_No._

"Yes." It came out as a whisper, all wrong, and inwardly he cursed himself for not being prepared to answer it. Prentiss shot him a look.

"Come now, you know you can't lie to me."

"I'm fine, really, I'm just worried about Hotch." _And I'm going to miss you guys, a lot. I hope you can forgive me._

The expression on Prentiss's face turned sympathetic and he knew that this time he'd fooled her. Probably because, partly, it was the truth he was worried about their leader, they all were. There was just so much more that she would never guess. "It's not your fault." She checked her watch trying to look casual. "It's five, you want me to throw together some dinner?"

He wasn't hungry, but he managed a smile and his stomach growled in cooperation making her laugh.

"You know how to cook?" She gave him a playful punch on the arm and he pretended it hurt rubbing the spot. Of course, I spent time living in Italy remember? Can't cook – psh – disgraceful."

"Actually, did you know that pizza wasn't invented in Italy, it actually came from –" She cut him off with another playful punch. "Hey!"

"Come on, you in or not?"

Reid smiled, and for the first time in the past two days it was genuine and not forced for the benefit of the others.

"I'm so in," he said following her into the kitchen. Suddenly, the idea of spending the last two hours before he left with her didn't seem hard at all. He was glad they would get to talk and laugh, their last moments of normalcy before everything went to hell. And he would remember, he would remember it later when the logical mind part of his mind berated him for what he was going to do, when he was on the verge of regretting it. Because he knew if it kept that laugher safe and smile alive he would never regret it. How could he? In that moment, deep down, he knew he'd be strong enough to pull it off – knew that he had to be. She would never suspect a thing.

The food was good but he could barely taste it. Still, he made sure to eat every bite and when she asked him if he wanted seconds he said yes. When they were finished it was nearly 6:30.

"I want to go for a walk." There, he'd said it. Was that so hard? Prentiss chuckled quietly to herself.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm imagining the look on Hotch's face if you asked him to approve it. I think he might just lose it."

"Come on Emily, I can't stay cooled up in this apartment any longer! It's driving me insane! I'll take a police officer with me, and it's not like the unsub is supposed to have anything planned for tonight." He hated lying to her like this.

"He won't say yes, Reid." He threw his hand up in the air.

"So I don't ask him, simple!" She was pensive for a moment then her face broke out in a grin. "Alright, but only if I can come with you."

His heart fell. It would make everything more complicated. Now he wouldn't just have to ditch the policeman but her as well. He found himself more worried about the latter. Still, you didn't say no to Emily Prentiss…

"Be ready in five, okay?" She nodded and turned into his bedroom and shut the door. Working fast, he grabbed a thick hoodie off the side of the dresser and threw it on sticking a pen and piece of paper in the big pocket in the middle. Then he headed for the bathroom. He stopped for a moment, his brain running thorough a massive range of statistics, then sprayed a face cloth with a sticky mixture of liquids from two different spray bottles he had under his sink. He stuck the cloth in his jean pocket, carefully making sure the hoodie covered it completely before leaving the bathroom. As they walked out his front door they picked a policeman at random bluffing their way through questions, and then they were walking down the street just the three of them away from his apartment, away from protection. It was all just too easy Reid thought bitterness surging through him. It should have been harder. But no one expected the profilers to need protection from themselves.

They started out on larger, more populated streets but what Reid had planned wouldn't work there. He needed somewhere private, somewhere private. He needed an alleyway.

God, he felt like an unsub. The thought almost made him turn around half a dozen times and go back. When they reached the perfect secluded back street it was 6:50. Now or never. He'd used his long legs to get a little ahead of the policeman and Prentiss almost unconsciously. Now, he waited behind the bend in the corner for them to catch up. The police man came around the corner first. Reid grabbed him from behind and pulled the face cloth tight against his face. The man struggled but only for a moment and Reid was taller so he held the advantage. When the man went under he laid him carefully on the ground. Emily came around the corner next. He didn't want to, god he didn't. But he had to.

So he did.

Emily's eyes widened in surprise as she took in the fallen policeman lying on the ground. Where was Reid? Panic coursed through her when she couldn't see him. What was going on?

A strong hand pressed a cloth against her mouth and a sickeningly sweet mix of chemicals assaulted her nostrils. She kicked out behind her, struggling, and heard a groan as her foot connected but her attacker didn't let go. As her vision spun violently she turned with it in her attacker's arms determined to see his face, to make him look into her eyes.

Staring back at her were the frightened eyes of Reid, tears streaming down his face, and she felt herself stop struggling out of simple shock. She heard him speak as the darkness drew closer.

"I'm so sorry." Then she was away of nothing more.

Reid carefully laid her down on the cold ally floor. On a whim he removed his hoodie, grabbing the scrap of paper and pen and bunching it up underneath her head to serve as a makeshift pillow. Then he wrote as his hand shook.

_I wish it didn't have to be like this. If there was any other way… Good luck, I love you all. – S.R. _

_p.s. Under the couch._

He wanted so bad to write more, to explain, but he couldn't see straight through the salt water that was blurring the letters and he was running short on time so in the end he just stuck the note in her pocket. They would understand, he had to trust they would, otherwise he would never get through this. The policeman and Emily would be fine, waking with nothing but a headache in a couple of hours. The last thing he did before he left them lying there and headed toward 5th street two blocks over was to flip his phone open and dial 911.

"911 what's your emergency? Police, fire, or ambulance?"

"Ambulance. I'd like to report a disturbance at Howe and Kent. There's two bodies and they don't appear to be moving."

"I'm sorry sir, did you just say two bodi-" He hung up cutting her off. Knowing they would be alright he walked away, He'd wasted enough time already.

He reached 5th street at exactly 7:00 his heart racing. Rather than stay in one place he wandered up and down the street, sometimes sticking to crowds when he lost his nerve sometimes surrendering to the icy calm that threatened at all times. Calm that drove him to the shadows. No matter what happened, he just wanted this to be over. It was in one of his moments alone, on a smile side street, that he felt eyes on his back, heard footsteps behind him.

"I've been waiting almost half an hour." He chided the darkness not turning around.

"Ah, but it will all be worth it." A voice hissed in his ear making him jump. "Scared, Spencer?" came the voice again, laughing. Reid shook his head violently back and forth. "No? That's alright. You'll break soon enough." Reid couldn't help the shutter that ran down his spine as the man traced a finger up his back and halfway down his left arm coming to rest lightly on his elbow. He had to fight the overwhelming urge to run. "It was very brave what you did for your team." He caressed the inside of Reid's arm causing him to shutter a second time.

"Don't touch me." He hated how his teeth chattered. The man only laughed again, more malicious than the first time, and didn't stop. "Don't worry. We'll have plenty of time to…get acquainted." Without warning he grabbed Reid's arm tight so he couldn't pull away and plunged a needle in causing Reid to roar in pain. He wanted to move, wanted to fight, he couldn't help the instinct that rose inside him. But whatever had been injected into him had to be some kind of paralytic because he couldn't move.

"Goodnight, Spencer. I'll be seeing you when you wake up."

In any other world

You could tell the difference

And let it all unfurl

Into broken remnants

Smile like you mean it

And let yourself let go

Cos it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man

Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in

Take a bow, play the part of a lonely lonely heart

Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in

To the world you thought you lived in – Mika "Any Other World"

___**Woops this is the longest chapter yet! Thank you so much to everyone for all the love this story has received I can hardly believe it! I wrote this all on my airplane ride back to Vancouver, hope you guys liked it! Please tell me what you think!**_


	6. the past always comes back

Chapter 6

_Don't ignore the past, but deal with it, on your own pace. Once you deal with it, you are free of it; and you are free to embrace your life and be a happy loving person because if you don't, the past will come back to haunt and keep coming back to haunt you. - Boris Kodjoe_

Emily Prentiss was aware of nothing except that her head felt like someone had taken an axe to it in an attempt to split it in two. Was that what had happened? She tried to sort through the memories but they were funny, far away, and she couldn't understand them. Then why did she keep remembering a sweet smell and why in the name of god's green earth did she feel fear when she thought of Reid? Fear for him, and fear for herself. That couldn't be right.

Could it?

It was then, in that moment, that everything came together and she wished it hadn't. Her eyes flew open and she barely had time to register she was in a hospital bed before she started pushing herself out of it ignoring the pounding in her head.

Strong hands pushed her back down and she started to struggle against them. "Get off! I have to –"

"Ms, you aren't in any danger. Please calm down."

She struggled harder.

"There's someone in trouble –"

"Ma'am you can't leave, I'm sorry." She was pushed back down again a little more forcefully this time and felt panic rise in her chest. They were trying to keep her from him, they were part of the plan.

"Reid!"

"We'll give them five more minutes."

"Morgan's stomach flip flopped. Rossi had told everyo0ne 8 o'clock that morning they were back at the BAU so why had only Seaver, Garcia, himself and Rossi shown up?

In other words, where were Prentiss and Reid?

His phone ran as they waited in silence and he answered it right at the conference room table pressing the machine to his ear.

"SSA Derek Morgan speaking."

"Yes, hello. This is Memorial Hospital –" Morgan's fists clenched. Was something wrong with Hotch?

"Is there something wrong with SSA Hotchner?"

"No, no. It's that other agent of yours we –"

"Other?"

"Didn't anyone notify you?" Morgan's heart beat faster.

"No nobody notified us how could you forget to notify us?" He pushed his anger down breathing in deep several times. He need answers not a pissed off nurse. "I'm sorry ma'am. When did our agent come in, are they alright?" He could hear paper rustling on the other end of the line.

"Emily Prentiss came in just after 7 last night along with a police officer. She has been in and out of consciousness since 10 o'clock last night. She woke fully about fifteen minutes ago and seems fine except she's very agitated and keeps calling out or someone named Spencer Reid." Morgan's chest tightened. "We thought your team might have some luck calming her down she's waking all of our other patients.

"We'll be right over."

When the team arrived at the hospital they were immediately lead to Prentiss's room, though they could have found it on their own with all noise and raised voices that assaulted their ears. Despite himself, Morgan had to smile. Prentiss was never the quiet one who listened and did what she was told, especially when it came to hospitals. They could hear her arguing as they came up the hall with a pretty middle aged blond nurse who was holding her own, a feat in itself.

"But ma'am." Prentiss pulled at her hair. "Don't you understand, there's a federal agent in trouble, he needs my help. I'm fine!" She stopped as she saw the fest of her team then ran over to Morgan. He didn't like the look of barely contained panic her eyes held. He didn't tink he could remember a time when she'd looked so close to losing it.

"Morgan, Morgan you have to tell them I'm fine, they won't believe me. I need to be discharged tell them!" He grabbed hold of her hands taking them in his. He was worried if he didn't she might try to make a run for it.

"Prentiss," his voice was gentle, as kind as he could make it. "You aren't going anywhere until the doctors okay it, alright? I will stand watch 24/7 if I have to, barricade the door, but you are not leaving this room until they okay you. It'll probably be as soon as tomorrow."

That was all it took. The fight left her and she slumped against him. As he lead her back over to the hospital bed tears spilled down her cheeks. Morgan nodded silently to the nurse who slipped away gratefully.

"I should have known," she said resting her head against the pillow. She could barely choke the words out.

"Known what?" Rossi's voice was supportive but firm. They couldn't baby her, they needed answers. "Where's Reid?"

She looked at each of them in turn her eyes pleading. "He tricked me."

"Who tricked you? Prentiss where is Reid?" Morgan couldn't help the anger in his voice even though he knew it shouldn't be there.

The tears stopped and her voice steadied a little. "He…he asked to go for a walk."

"No one authorised you –" Rossi started .He couldn't help himself. Prentiss shot him a look that could trump Hotch's.

"Don't you think I knew that? Don't you think I wish I had seen?"

"Prentiss, what came next?" Morgan had to keep her on track. If he didn't know soon he was going to lose it.

"We took a policeman with us and ended up down some back streets. Reid was ahead and when I turned the corner I – I saw him lying on the ground and I couldn't see Reid. Then he pulled a cloth with something sweet over my mouth and that's all I remember.

"Who was holding the cloth, Prentiss, did you see him?" Morgan's voice was tense. Hotch's attackers hadn't had anything distinct about them but if Prentiss's did it might help the profile. What was she looking at him funny? Like he was missing something big sitting just out of reach.

"It was Reid."

"Wait…but I thought…" Morgan's brown creased in confusion. Prentiss let out a shrill laugh that didn't sound sane.

"What, that the unsub found us? On no this was all your pretty boy." Garica hiccupped.

"There must be some mistake. He wouldn't –" Prentiss shook her head cutting him off.

"No mistake Morgan. Don't you see?" He watched as tears threatened at the corners of her eyes again. "He did it for us, to protect us."

Morgan lowered his head as the realisation of just what Reid had done hit them all. He had taken out another agent and a police officer, gone looking for an unsub, risked his life, all for them.

"God damn kid." The words came out in a whisper. He wanted to scream them.

Reid's hands had fallen asleep. In a groggy state of half awareness he tried to move them but they stubbornly stayed above his head. Then a door slammed shut somewhere above him and his eyes shot open as he became instantly alert and memories of the last 24 hours flooded his mind.

He was chained against the wall of what looked like a large basement. It wasn't cold or damp but there weren't any windows either.

Most importantly, he wasn't alone. In the middle of the room sat a chair and on that chair a man. He had to assume it was the man from the night before but he couldn't be sure until he spoke because he hadn't seen him.

The man raised his head, saw Reid's eyes open, and grinned. "You're awake, good. She's been dying to meet you." Yah, it was him, no mistaking it.

"She?" every muscle in his body hurt from disuse. How long had he been out? The smile on the man 's face widened and putting two fingers in his mouth he gave a massive whistle. A woman appeared from out of the shadows before him walking with the rap tap tap of heels towards him. She stopped in front of him and he scanned her face stopping on her eyes. The incredulity of the whole situation hit him as he realised that he didn't even know her, he'd never seen her before.

"What have I ever done to you?" the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. A smile twisted her face.

"What haven't you done, Dr Reid?" You took a friends life, my hope." Her face hardened. "You took the only man I ever cared about – Tobias Hankel. But what's worse, you didn't just take him from me, you took him from all of us."

"All of y –" he never got to finish the sentence. Five other men appeared from out of the darkness and stood behind her the one from last night joining them.

"From all of us." She repeated firmly. "You really thought that those of us in going through rehab together didn't communicate? Did you really think we didn't know each other, that we didn't care about him?" So that was it, he understood now. He knew firsthand the kinds of bonds struggling addicts could form. But still, the odds of this many suffering from the same psychotic break because of drug problems…the odds were astronomical. 'Now, we're here to finish what he started. God's will has been delayed long enough."

A man stepped forward and handed her a revolver. His heart began to quicken as he realised it looked identical to the one Tobias had used to play Russian roulette with him all those years ago. How had she gotten it?

Then she raised it, aimed at his forehead, and it didn't matter how she'd gotten it only that is was in her hands.

"Play nice. Now we're going to undo the chains on your hands and walk you over to the chair then tie you back up again. After that, the fun really begins. Oh, and Dr. Reid, don't try anything." She tapped the revolver. "You could make a run for it but I don't suggest it, god is on our side."

He couldn't have fought, even if he wanted to, as they undid the chains around his wrists and tied him to the chair in the middle of the room. His body still felt like he could barely move it.

One thought circled over and over in his mind: _This can't be happening, not again._

_**There you are. A little shorter than the last few but what do you think? I'm not sure about the last scene, I'm still getting a feel for my unsubs. I also have to warn you that my Spring Break ends tomorrow so realistically It'll be updates once a week from now on probably on weekends. Sorry about that, real life takes precedence. I'm incredibly thankful, once again, for all the love this story has gotten!**_

_**Ps. Below is a little something I found online. I'm posting it in response to Lauren, I know it's coming late but I wanted to write a one shot and don't think I'm going to have time so this is the next best thing – I felt like I had to do something and this quote touched me deeply.**_

"_**You can shed tears that she is gone,  
or you can smile because she has lived.  
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,  
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.  
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,  
or you can be full of the love you shared.  
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,  
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.  
You can remember her only that she is gone,  
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.  
You can cry and close your mind,  
be empty and turn your back.  
Or you can do what she'd want:  
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.**__**" – David Harkins**_


	7. pain

Chapter 7

"_The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain." - Jennifer Aniston _

One of them was going to have to be the one who told Hotch. None of them were wanted to be the one to do it.

In the end, it was Rossi who walked out of Emily's room and down the hall. As he paused in front of Hotch's room he couldn't help but wish the hallway had been 10 times longer. This was going to be some much more than hard.

Then he got over it and knocked his face falling into a mask of what he hoped was perfect composure.

"Come in." Hotch had his back turned to the door twisted as he grabbed a glass of water off the tale beside his bed. "I hope you're here to talk about releasing me. I'm fine honestly, I–" Rossi watched as the profiler turned back to face the door and realised it wasn't a nurse but one of his team.

"Dave, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the BAU working the case before that son of a bitch gets his hands on–" He stopped suddenly and all the blood drained from his face. "That's why you're here isn't it."

Apparently, Rossi's composure wasn't as great as he'd thought it was. Then again, how was he supposed to hide how he felt from one of the best profilers the FBI had ever seen?

"Well?" Rossi blinked, thrown back into reality. Hotch's voice softened "When?"

"Last night." It only feels like more weight has been added to his chest. Hotch blinks and then squeezes his eyes shut. A moment later they're open again and filled with determination.

"I need to get the hell out of this bed," he said as he started fumbling to push the sheets off himself.

The rope was cutting into his wrists, causing him to bleed. He barely noticed, too intent on the barrel of the revolver trained on his forehead as he tried to fight the flashbacks and stay in the present. He had to stay in the present.

"Now, Spencer Reid," she flashed a twisted, demonic smile towards him that sent a funny shiver through his heart. "Time to confess your sins."

Too late he felt someone breathing behind him. Too late, as she lowered the revolver ever so slightly, did he realise that one of the men was missing. He couldn't help the gasp of pain that escaped his lips as a fist swerved from behind striking him hard in the face. The others laughed and he felt anger rise inside him as his eyes met hers. Flashes, not of Tobias but of his high school years, ran through his mind. He wasn't 12 anymore, and he could take anything they decided to throw at him.

"Even if I did have sins I wouldn't admit them to you." Just like that there's something smashing into the side of his face and then she's holding the barrel of the revolver tight against his temple.

His heart rate instantly speeds up constricting tightly again, so tightly it hurts. Has he gone too far, is she going to lose patience and just end it now?

No. His profiling kicks in, intent on keeping him alive. She wants to drag this out, she doesn't want a quick end or he'd be laying lifeless back in that alleyway. She won't shoot him, not yet.

At least he hopes she won't. In fact, he's counting on it. He shuts his eyes and thoughts of his team flit across his mind. Hotch's glare, the one he reserved for the worst of their unsubs but which Reid was secretly sure could turn steam to little tiny ice cubes. What would Hotch do?

Hotch would try and stay alive until the team could find him. Hotch would not antagonise, he would play into the fantasy.

He kept his mouth shut, unable to speak because he couldn't trust himself. Fear dominated him but the anger was still there, babbling just underneath, looking for a way to break through. After what felt like an eternity the gun pulled away from the side of head and he felt himself able to breathe again. The woman stepped back into view checking her watch casually as if it was no big deal, the revolver hanging from her fingers pointed down now.

"Stay silent for now, I don't mind. You won't stay that way forever. As for me and the boys we have some business to attend to. She smiled thinly as they gathered at the door to the room. I hate to leave you alone but this is absolutely necessary."

"Where are you going?" He hated how quiet his voice was. A smile flitted across her face, playing with her lips, making him feel sick.

"Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough." She opened the door then turned back. "We'll be seeing you soon, Dr. Reid." Then her hand went to the switch on the wall plunging him into almost total blackness. After that they were gone, leaving him alone as he tried to slow his rapid breathing. Alone as

Emily had to keep resisting the urge to pull her hair out. She might have just been cleared to leave her hospital room but the nurses had made it clear that privilege would be revoked if she showed any signs that she was a danger to herself or others. Her earlier outbursts had made them weary, and she wished desperately that she could take them back.

They were all gathered in Hotch's hospital room. An unspoken decision had made that their new base of operations, at least until their boss was discharged. Probably, Emily though wryly, because there was no other way to keep him from pulling the IV out his arm so he could sneak out of the hospital.

They weren't getting anywhere though, and that's what was making it so hard. Garcia was running one of her many programs, still searching for viable suspect leads, but she could tell by the unnatural quiet and the quick, supportive glances the others kept sharing with each other that they weren't having luck. If that didn't tell her, the darkness looming in Hotch's eyes certainly did.

It was like she was at somebody's funeral.

She shivered at the unbidden thought wishing that it had never come but she couldn't push it away because already her brain was flashing back to the look on Reid's face when he had first opened the second letter to see his own photo. Flashes of the blood, fear, hurt and pain that had been so evident in the picture made salt water pool in the corners of her eyes.

Was that what they were doing to him right now? Was he crying out where nobody could hear him, calling their names?

Was he blaming her for not seeing through the guise?

She bit her bottom lip hard and shoved her hands into the pockets of her sweater, the same one she'd been wearing when he- she couldn't finish the thought. Partly because she still didn't want to believe he'd really done what he had and partly because she could feel something in the pocket. A small piece of paper.

Glad to have something to focus on she redirected her thoughts. She didn't remember writing anything down last night. Then again, a lot of things were fuzzy. Whatever mix of chemicals Reid had used, they had done the job. Done it too well.

Fishing out the piece of paper she unfolded it from where I had been creased in the middle and read it slowly.

I wish it didn't have to be like this. If there was any other way… Good luck, I love you all. – S.R.

p.s. Under the couch.

Her hand that was holding the note shook. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe. Reid had left it for her, for them. He fist closed around it crumpling the paper further. Left it as a kind of explanation, a goodbye. She could imagine him under the night sky, scribbling. Could trace her fingers over the drops of saline that had hit the page as he wrote it.

Her brain could only process two thoughts. The first was that they sure as hell needed to search his house a second time (it had already been combed once by police). The second was that it WAS a goodbye. Reid didn't think he was going to see them again, and that scared her more than anything because when was Reid ever wrong?

She let her fist drop to her side and unable to stop the tears any longer felt them spill over. She didn't try to wipe them away, she didn't want to.

Right now, they were the only connection she had to him.

"Hotch! I have something!" She barely recognised her own voice.

_** First of all I want to say I am so sorry for how long it has been. I know it's been a long time, longer than a week, and I apologise. It won't happen again. Thank you so much to all my readers and reviewers as always! You are the ones who make me want to write.**_


	8. all alone

Chapter 8

_**It isn't enough to say I'm sorry is it…god it has been so long. I could use the excuse that the last few months of grade 12 got in the way but really that's pathetic so I just say thank you and if anyone actually remembers and begins to read this story again now that I am back with it then thank you. If not, well I understand why you might be kind of mad…**_

_There's so much I had to say I know the words I left behind _

_And now I'm caught in a daydream with nowhere to run and hide_

_The world rushes by me, it's leaving me here all alone" ~Alanis Morisette Rain_

Emily and the rest of the BAU team were piled in Hotch's hospital room, completely consumed at the moment by the notable absence of their brightest, youngest member and a certain already open brown envelope Emily held in her trembling hands. Slowly, she reached her hand in and pulled what was inside out.

On top were two pictures of Hotch, obviously taken after he had been shot in his apartment. She threw them down on top of Hotch's legs, covered by a blanket, and stared at piece of paper behind them.

By the time she finished reading the note, she felt like she couldn't breathe. She had to focus though, she had to focus and be strong so that they could find whoever had written the note clutched in her hands and she could take those hands and personally end them for messing with Reid. Reid, god, why Reid? It was always Reid. Sometimes she had to wonder if they should rename him danger magnet.

"I, it looks like the unsub told Reid to meet him down fifth street." Her eyes rose to meet Hotch's. He was trying to be the leader they needed him to be, but she could see his composure slowly breaking. The others probably could too. "We were right; he threatened to kill one of us if Reid didn't do as he said."

There was a moment of heavy silence. It might have lasted much longer except Garcia, who was sitting in the only visitors chair typing, jumped up her laptop nearly clattering to the ground.

"Hotch I think I have something!" She moved the laptop to his lap so their leader, hurt as he was, he could still see and within moments the rest of the team had them surrounded.

On the screen was a darkened store, obviously closed. It looked like a future shop or something with computers and other electronic equipment.

"Garcia what is-"

"Watch." She cut Hotch off uncharacteristically brusque. She pressed a couple of buttons and the security feed began to play.

For just a moment quiet reigned inside the shop. Then, without warning, there came a crashing sound and they could see glass break in one of the front windows. Six hooded figures hoisted themselves through the broken window and immediately began grabbing different things. After they had what they needed, a couple of minutes at most, they were gone.

Morgan was the first to speak. "That's a lovely video of a break in you've got there, baby girl, but I don't see how this is going to help Reid. God damn we need to stop wasting time and start searching 5th street." He pivoted and slammed his fist into the nearest wall.

"Morgan." Hotch's warning tone was all he needed. Emily watched his shoulders sag and the anger leave him. She stared at the screen again a moment longer feeling like she was missing something.

"Garcia, can you figure out from this footage exactly what they took? What makes you think this break in is different from any other?"

Garcia took a deep breath before she spoke, and when she did she was uncharacteristically quiet. "Laptops, a camcorder, external hard drives, and satellite uplinks. That's what they took."

"Why does that list sound so familiar? Again that feeling, like there was something obvious sitting just out of reach.

"Because–" Garcia started, but it was Hotch that finished.

"Because that's exactly what you need to stream video feed, and it's exactly what Hankel stole back when he kidnapped Reid in 2007."

Emily hadn't realised until that moment that silence could be more deafening than any noise.

Reid was tired. Tired of waiting, tired of being alone, tired of being scared. Tired of wondering what would come when his captors finally returned. His throat burned, how long had it been since he'd had something to drink, and he was tired but there was no way he was going to sleep. Instead, he let his head tilt back and his eyes close, they didn't do much good in the darkness anyway.

His state of semi relaxedness didn't last long. Moments later, he could hear voices and then the door was thrust open. In the darkness he could just make out her outline in the lead, carrying something large and bulky in her hands. He tried to slow his rapidly increasing heart rate. He didn't know what it was, but whatever she had it could be good. It probably meant pain.

Which was why he was so surprised when she flicked on the lights. In her hands was a tripod, and the man behind her, the same one who'd captured him initially, held a large expensive looking camcorder.

For the moment, it was just the two of them. This should have made him feel better, but it only made him uneasy. Where were the others?

"Dr. Reid." The woman, whose name he realised he still didn't know greeted him with upturned lips but it was more of a sneer than a smile. "Comfortable?"

"Go to hell." He knew he shouldn't antagonize her, but he just couldn't help the words from coming out of his mouth. She only smiled, a real big one with teeth, and that was maybe scarier than if she'd threatened him.

"Oh come now, our accommodations may be a little homey but there's no need for that. Besides, the company is simply superb." She hummed under her breath as she set up the tripod and then grabbed the video camera setting it on top.

"What's your name?" He didn't know where this tolerant mood had come from, but he would try and take advantage of it while it lasted." She ignored his question, walking out the door and back in with a laptop and some other electronic equipment. She was blocking his view so he couldn't really see what she was doing but he wasn't an idiot, and he thought he knew. His stomach dropped. He didn't want to be right, he really didn't want to be right.

God, he had always hated technology. Maybe it was part of what his colleagues called the Reid effect. Maybe attracting every psycho within a 100 mile radius, well maybe that was part of it too.

He tried again.

"What are you doing?" She straightened up and turned towards him.

"That, Dr. Reid, really is a stupid question. Where are your deducting capabilities? I'll make it easy, give you a hint." She took a few steps closer to him. "You've seen all this before."

He was right. The realisation hit him and he squeezed his eyes shut against the dizziness. When he opened them her face was only inches from his and he started trying to jump backwards in his chair and failing.

"So now he figures it out." She whispered triumphantly.

"They don't need to see this, I'm the one your punishing remember?"

"Oh no, Dr. Reid, you've got that all wrong. You may have actually pulled the trigger but your little friends had a hand in this too."

Oh god, he didn't want them to see him like this, he really didn't.

"They might use the connection to trace you."

Her laugh made him shiver.

"Don't worry, I've taken plenty of precautions and I'm willing to risk it. I want them to feel every moment of your pain before I end you." He felt panic start to seize his chest as she motioned for the man still standing in the entranceway to the room then turned her focus back to him. They both donned ski masks, and it seemed so cliché that it might have been funny it he had seen it on t.v. or in a movie. As it was, he tried and failed to push the growing panic down.

She pushed the on button, and the redness of it seared into his eyes. The man turned the lights down but not enough for him to miss the gun that had materialized in her hands, or the knife in his.

"Shall we give your colleagues a show then, Dr. Reid?"

_Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ~C.P. Snow_

_**I will not abandon you again…**_


	9. let the games begin

Chapter 9

_**I love being evil to poor Reid =P. I've noticed this is not just a me thing, poor danger magnet gets picked on a lot. Here it goes, hope you like it. **_

_I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat. – Sir Winston Churchill _

Garcia and Hotch were alone in his hospital room. Morgan, Prentiss, Rossi and Seaver had taken a moment to grab some coffee so that they had a chance of staying awake even a little longer. Hotch had wanted them to rest after their search of the electronics store had turned up nothing but the police were still checking 5th street and until at least that was done none of them would give in to him, even if they knew he was right and they did in fact need sleep. He himself had just closed his eyes, because he wasn't sure he could keep them open even a moment longer. That's when Garcia, with her usual perfect timing, screamed. His eyes darted open and rested on her pale face.

"Garcia what's wrong?" He tried to scramble to an upright position ignoring the pain in his chest. Jesus, couldn't he just heal already. He felt so useless.

"Sir, someone's trying to hack my computer." The start she'd gotten was gone and she was in full teckie mode, typing so fast that her hands almost seemed to blur, her eyes never leaving the screen. Hotch watched as she started to mumble under her breath.

"Oh no you don't, you've picked the wrong teck goddess to mess with." Her typing speed doubled but he could see her starting to sweat. Whoever it was, if they were giving Garcia a run for her money then they were good, really good.

"Damn!" Her fingers pulled away from the keyboard. "They're in, and there's nothing I can–" She stopped suddenly her face suddenly turning even whiter. "No, oh god, no! No!"

"Garcia, Garcia what is it!" Hotch could feel her panic, and he had to struggle even harder to keep his own down. What had her so freaked?

"Sir I…" Garcia paused, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before opening them again.

"Tell me Garcia. What is it?" He tried his best authoritative voice.

She moved the computer onto his lap. "I was right." Her voice was soft, quiet, but caught in her throat. Hotch forced himself to look at the screen, even though he really didn't want to, and there was Reid.

There was Reid bound to a chair staring down the barrel of a revolver being held by a figure whose face was entirely obscured by a ski mask. Hotch felt his breath hitch.

"Get the rest of the team." Hotch never took his eyes off the screen for a moment as he gave the order to Garcia. She nodded but she didn't seem to be able to tear her eyes away from their teammate either. "Garcia, go!" This time she did as he asked and left the room. He turned his attention back to Reid and the figure on screen, noticing how slight the one in the ski mask was.

The figure began talking. "Say hi to your teammates, Dr. Reid." There was a moment of silence where Reid continued to look down at the ground. Before anything else could happen, the rest of the team burst through the door all talking at once fear lighting behind their eyes, animating them. They were just in time to watch the hooded figure slam the revolver roughly into Reid's face and then it was being held to his temple as blood started to poor from his mouth.

"I said say hi, Dr. Reid." This time Reid did react. He looked up, his brown eyes seeming to reach into the camera towards them, and spoke.

"Hi guys." His voice was quiet and a little shaky. Hotch's insides squeezed themselves. This shouldn't be happening to him, not again.

"Now," somewhere in Hotch's mind it registered that the voice was a woman's. "Shall we play a little game?" Reid's glare, along with his voice, was full of pure loathing.

"I have a better idea, how about you let me go!"

"Don't push it kid." Morgan instructed under his breath. His hands were clenched into fists and Hotch knew how hard it was for him not to break something. He knew because he was feeling the same way.

The woman holding the revolver pulled the trigger without warning and Emily screamed while Morgan shouted no and the rest of them jumped forward. Tears were threatening in Garcia's eyes.

Reid, to his credit, never screamed but his eyes betrayed his fear.

"Dr. Reid please play nice, or I'll be forced to continue pulling the trigger on this revolver until we do find the single bullet residing inside it and I send it through your skull. I'm sure your friends would love that." Hotch could imagine her smiling sweetly underneath the mask. "Anyhow, where were we? Oh yes, this game of mine. You see you're not much fun, at least not alone because you don't give a damn about yourself–you already proved that by giving yourself to me–so here it goes. We'll subject you to increasing amounts of pain while your friends watch and if you make even a sound, one sound, then one of your team mates will find themselves joining you here by tomorrow morning."

Hotch watched Reid's eyes grow wide. "No." He started to struggle against his bonds. "No! you said if I did as you asked you wouldn't hurt them! You promised!"_

NO! He could not let this happen. He'd let himself be taken to keep them safe and he wasn't about to put them in danger all over again. Just the thought of one of them being taken because of him made him feel sick all over.

He stared into the barrel of his captor's revolver and felt calm wash over him. This was still in his hands.

"You lied to me." The words came out as a whisper. The barrel of the revolver pushed harder into the side of his head.

"I did lie, Dr. Reid–"

"You lied but it doesn't matter." He felt his voice strengthen, grow louder. "Because no matter what you do I won't let you hurt my friends. I can take whatever you do to me."

His captor's voice when she replied was cold, devoid of emotion.

"Oh I seriously doubt that, Dr. Reid." He ignored her and turned his face towards the camera.

"I'll be fine guys, please don't worry about me."

Her voice was slinky and smooth, teasing. "Oh no Dr. Reid, I promise you won't be."

_"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." – Albert Pike_

_**What do you think? I'd love to know!**_


	10. an old weakness, an old friend

Chapter 10

_**I tried to get this up yesterday but work made that impossible so here it is first thing this morning. I wanted before we started to say thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews, they are amazing to reid (haha) you have no idea how they make my day. **_

_**Warning: the evil really starts now, although this is just the start =P. Wow I'm starting to question my sanity…**_

_I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, torture it endures and knows how to turn to its advantage. –__Friedrich Nietzsche___

Reid shuttered, unable to help himself, as the knife trailed up his arm and down his chest. The man's hand hovered near the middle of his stomach and Reid felt the pressure start to build as it dug in just enough to break the skin. He bit down on his tongue to stay silent, knowing there was much worse to come. It wasn't so bad really, as long as he didn't watch the blood starting to soak though the hole in the front of his shirt.

The man pulled the knife out then slammed the length of the blade home.

Fire erupted from his middle and spread outwards. His body arched backward with the pain and this time he bit down on his tongue hard enough to taste blood. The man pulled the knife out inch by inch and Reid could feel it biting into his skin. God he wanted to scream.

He wanted to, but he wouldn't.

Instead he pictured the team in his head, all of them together. Their strength would get him through this. Trying to focus through the pain he set his teeth and raised his head to look the man in the eyes.

But he and his knife were gone, replaced by the woman and what looked like a new gun in her hands. Not a revolver, a gun. When had she switched weapons? She leveled the gun at his chest, close to where blood from the knife wound was still continuing to dye his shirt red.

The click as she unlocked the safety was loud. It encompassed his whole universe.

She trained the gun a little higher, and now it was pointing directly at his forehead.

"Dr. Reid I'll shoot you right now if you don't scream. Will you please scream for me Dr. Reid?"

"Garcia, can't you track him!" Hotch was shouting. She shook her head.

"They keep rerouting to new IP addresses I can't!" Garcia was typing frantically through her tears. Rossi was swearing in Italian under his breath. Morgan was instructing Reid again and again to just give in and do as his captor instructed.

Reid stared straight into her eyes. "I'll die first."

That's when she pulled the trigger.

Hotch was aware of nothing except that he was screaming. But Reid's name died on his lips as he watched the young agent contort in pain and a wave of relief pulsed through him. It hadn't been a head shot. She'd lowered the gun at the last moment and sent the bullet straight into his knee, shattering it. That was bad, and it hurt like hell he could see it in Reid's clenched teeth and fists, but it was still a hell of a lot less fatal than a bullet to the skull.

"Oh come now, you didn't think I'd make it that easy did you? Let you be the martyr, die for your friends and team and be done with it. Oh no Dr. Reid, we're just getting started." There was a pause and his captor left the screen. There was some shuffling and then they were back, holding a small vile and a needle.

"Is that–?" Morgan didn't need to finish the question.

"Dilaudid."

Reid seemed to come to the same conclusion as she came closer. He shook his head violently his eyes growing wide.

"No, no I don't want it!" He began to shake slightly as she came closer. "Stay away from me!" His voice grew louder.

"Oh poor Dr. Reid. Once an addict, always an addict. It's alright though, you'll be begging for this stuff soon enough." A pause. "It's great."

The needle hovered just over the crook of his out turned elbow now and the man who'd had the knife held him down.

"Please." Reid's voice was pleading and twisted Hotch's insides. He heard someone, Seaver he thought, behind him gasp as the needle broke the skin and the drug entered Reid's veins. His head began to bob and as his captor pulled the needle out it fell back.

The woman, needle still in hand, turned back to the camera. "And that, I believe, is all for today folks." The screen went dead just as Reid began to whimper in the background.

Morgan whirled away fists clenched. Hotch's attention was drawn to the same voice that had gasped earlier, coming from just behind him to the left of his hospital bed. He turned, ignoring the dull throbbing, and standing behind all of them, yet to be noticed, was a young attractive blonde with a horrified expression and clenched fists.

"Oh god." JJ's voice was a whisper. "Why didn't you tell me?"

_The thing about family disasters is that you never have to wait long before the next one puts the previous one into perspective – Robert Brault_

_I'm afraid sometimes you'll play lonely games too, games you can't win because you'll play against you – Dr. Seuss (__**From one "Dr." to another, right?)**_

**Muahaha. There you are my friends. The idea was suggested to me to bring JJ in a while back and I jumped on it so thank you. Hope you enjoyed the part even if it is a little shorter. I'm sorry to say the next part won't be up for probably another 4 days or so approximately since I'm going camping but I promise as soon as I'm back you'll get an update. Until then, so long and good luck. **


	11. coming down, down, down

Chapter 11

_** Firstly thank you so much to all my amazing reviewers. Thanks you all you of I passed the 100 review mark on my first story and it feels like a huge accomplishment. I am amazed by the great response this story has received and so honoured you choose to take time out of your days to read this. Thank you to EVERYONE!**_

_Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. – Mark Twain_

"Why didn't you tell me Reid was in trouble!" JJ's voice rose to a shout.

"JJ," Hotch tried to keep his voice even but inside he was breaking. "You need to calm down. This just happened, no one except our team and police know yet not even his mother. Reid's going to be fine but time we spend on you is time we're not spending trying to find him."

She opened and shut her mouth then nodded. Hotch breathed in deep. His words had been direct and sharp but his logic was infallible.

"Can I stay and help. I have to try and help." Her voice was small. He nodded kindly.

"Of course. Now Garcia," He turned his focus to the tech goddess who nodded, sniffing. "I realise you couldn't track them as the IP address kept changing but is there any way you can tell me who was speaking on camera?"

"I can try sir." She said beginning to type again. "But the odds of finding anything workable, even if I did have something to match it to which I don't, are thin."

"I understand. Try anyway." Hotch's mind was moving a thousand miles a minute. S much so that he barely notice the young nurse standing in the doorway.

"Sir there's a police officer here to see you." Hotch's head shot up.

"Send him in." The nurse nodded and disappeared, reappearing moments later trailed by a dark haired man in his late thirties.

"SSA Hotchner, I'm detective Black the man in charge of the sweep of 5th street." He shook his head sending longish locks flying. "Nearly everything that might have been useful had been contaminated by the time we got there by pedestrian traffic but we did find one thing.

"And?"

The man pulled out of the black briefcase he was wearing a needle in a clean evidence bag. Hotch's eyes grew wider.

"It was all alone sitting in an alleyway but there were signs of someone being dragged and it's too big to be a druggy's," the Detective explained.

"Has this been printed yet, and has the substance inside been identified?"

The man shook his head and Hotch shot the poor detective one of his famous glares. The detective gulped loudly.

"No sir, it was only just discovered and you said to bring anything we found right to you–"

"Morgan." Hotch's tone was all business.

"I'm on it." The burley FBI agent jumped to his feet. He'd been resting on the edge of Hotch's hospital bed.

"Thank you detective, you can go." The man seemed relieved to be out of the firing range of Hotch's laser eyes. Morgan followed after him, needle bag in hand. The sun was just ducking behind the trees. They all stifled yawns and kept searching for something, anything, they had missed.

XXX the next morning XXX

Reid hurt all over so bad, especially his stomach. He tried to move his feet and groaned. No, he took that back. His knee made it feel like all his stomach needed was a Band-aid.

But that wasn't the worst of it. The worst was the need pulsating through him.

He hadn't felt like that in so long. Not since…

What happened before he passed out came rushing back to him. He let out a small groan and forced his eyes open. All his hard work over the last few years. All his time clean, gone. Just like that. One hit and he wanted more so bad it made him feel sick.

Once an addict, always an addict.

She was right.

No! Realisation hit him. His team, they'd seen the whole thing. Even if he got out of this alive they would never look at him the same way again. They'd be worried about him relapsing, about being a liability. And they'd be right to be worried.

At least he hadn't screamed. No matter what, keeping his team safe would be his priority. He couldn't let them suffer.

No matter what his captor did to him, or threatened to do.

Then, like his thoughts had called her, the devil herself arrived.

"Don't you dare go near my team!" Why was it so hard to get his mouth to move? Why did his eyelids feel so heavy? This wasn't all just from coming down from a high.

She smirked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Well good morning to you too Dr. Reid. And how are you feeling this fine morning? Weak? I know you've lost a lot of blood and coming off of the high only makes it harder. Craving any more yet? I have enough stored away to make sure you never need to come back down to this hellish reality."

He had never hated himself as much as he did in that moment. He hated himself because the damn offer was tempting.

"Go to hell." He enunciated each word. She came closer and he kicked out at her with his good leg as far as he could manage tied up but his movements were too sluggish and weak to do much of anything. She stepped back lightly out of the way her eyes turning hard and cold.

"Apparently you're a fighter." She gripped his shattered knee, nothing but a bloody pulp, and squeezed hard sending waves of pain coursing through his body and his eyes to go black at the edges. He focused on breathing in and out and his vision slowly returned to normal.

"You aren't as strong as you believe Dr. Reid…" She walked behind him so he couldn't see what she was doing but there was some shuffling of what sounded like metal objects which made him nervous and then total silence which made him doubly so. Then she stepped back in front of him with a flourish holding a hammer in her hands.

"But you still have spunk, and I like that about you."

Her smile was carcinogenic.

"It makes breaking you all the more fun." She gave a quick glance down and Reid realised in horror what she was about to do.

"Please." He whimpered. His captor just shook her head.

"You know you really should watch that knee. It may never be the same again." Then, she brought the hammer down as hard as he would on his bad knee.

Spencer Reid couldn't take it any longer. He screamed before the awfulness of what he'd done even hit him and then blissful black oblivion took him.

XXXXXXXXXXX

The team, all except Morgan who was overseeing the tests on the needle personally, had loaded up on coffee and were continuing to sort through the massive number of cases Reid had played a sizeable part in.

"Ever feel like we would be so screwed without his massive brain?" Emily sighed pushing another case file to the side. Hotch had filled them in on his theory that t main captor was a woman but that still left her with at least one male counterpart which really didn't narrow things down much. It didn't make sense either. Hotch wasn't being sexist but he knew from experience that when it came to submissive/dominant partnerships the male was almost always dominant. Yet it had been clear that in this case it was different and until they knew more about the unsub it was impossible to know why. To make matters worse, Garcia's attempt to match a name to the voice on the video feed had been unsuccessful.

Rossi groaned. "Aaron, this is hopeless. We have nothing." Hotch clenched his fists.

"This is Reid we're talking about, we can't just give up." Hotch actually raised his voice, a serious rarity. Rossi studied him silently for a moment something akin to sympathy flashing in his eyes.

"I'm not saying we should give up, I just don't think–"

At this point they were all interrupted by a knock at the door. JJ motioned the man in with a warm smile but the others froze when they saw the brown envelope in his hand.

"A package for one Aaron Hotch–" He never got to finish his sentence. Rossi ripped the package from the man and glared at him.

"Where did you get this!" The man looked a little frightened.

"I work in reception. I was coming in for my shift when some man outside asked me to give this to you –"

"Is he still there!" Seaver was on her feet and Hotch was struggling to do the same. Emily was holding him down.

"No!" the man half shouted in alarm. "He got straight back in his car and drove away."

"Did you get a licence plate?" The man shook his head.

"I wasn't looking." He sounded glum, as he came to the realisation that he'd done something seriously wrong even if he wasn't quite sure what it was yet.

Hotch slumped and stopped fighting Prentiss as he realised there was no immediate action he could take.

"Garcia ask to see the hospital security system. Bring this man here with you and see if he can identify the man and/or vehicle for you. The rest of us," for some reason his eyes met Rossi's, "The rest of us will open the envelope together." Garcia nodded and her breath hitched in her throat a little. Her and the hospital receptionist left the room together.

Each person in the room seemed to hold their breath as Rossi stuck his thumb through the tape and broke the seal. He fished his hand inside and pulled it back out.

"There's a dvd." He pulled it out and no one could miss the note attached to the back of the case. He flipped it over.

_Having fun yet? I know I am. _

_ As you'll soon see, it appears Spencer wasn't quite as strong as he hoped to be. _

_A shame really, one of you 7 will pay for it…_

_I'm sure he'll feel just wonderful about that._

_Or maybe he'll be too high to care…_

_A special welcome to Jennifer Jareau by the way,_

_Hope you all enjoy the video. I suggest popcorn…_

Slowly, Rossi opened the case and with fingers he tried to stop shaking and failed stuck the video into Garcia's DVD drive.

PLAY.

A moment of darkness and then they could make out Reid's image. He appeared to be alone in the room and he was thrashing back and forth. Several times he whimpered or whispered half incoherent sentences. Hotch bit his lip. This was the other side of Reid, the darker side that had serious addiction problems. This was Reid high to the point where he seemed to be almost more like having a nightmare then really, truly, awake.

All at once the thrashing stopped and Reid opened his eyes, groaning. Moments later, the same woman appeared. She didn't have the mask on this time, but she kept her back to the camera.

"Don't you dare go near my team!" Hotch was amazed their youngest teammate was thinking about anyone except himself considering how he had to feel, how much pain he had to be in.

"Well good morning to you too Dr. Reid. And how are you feeling this fine morning? Weak? I know you've lost a lot of blood and coming off of the high only makes it harder. Craving any more yet? I have enough stored away to make sure you never need to come back down to this hellish reality." Hotch clenched his fists, she was taunting him, making him sweat, that was all. But he could see how the taunt tore Reid apart, could see the addict already resurfacing and the self-loathing in Reid's eyes.

"Go to hell."

"Good for you Reid." Emily whispered. "Tell her." And Reid did. He tried to kick out at her when she came closer. It was good he had the energy to fight still but the fact that the move was so slow, so sluggish and uncoordinated, that had Hotch worried.

Bloodloss…

"Apparently you're a fighter." The unsub had that right at least. Reid was a fighter, he was a fighter or he wouldn't have even lasted this long.

The woman squeezed Reid's knee in retaliation, and Hotch watched the pain nearly overwhelm him. Then she said some bullshit about Reid not being as strong as he thought he was.

Don't listen to her Reid.

Hotch watched the unsub go behind Reid for a moment, dig through a pile of weapons he couldn't see clearly, and come up with a hammer. She came back around front again but always with her damn back to the camera.

"But you still have spunk, and I like that about you." Hotch knew what was coming next, even before she talked about breaking him, and being a genius Reid did too.

"Please."

God, Reid was pleading. Hotch felt as if his soul was being ripped to pieces. It should have been him there instead of Reid. Reid had been through way to much already.

The unsub said something back, but Hotch didn't even hear it. He was too busy watching as the unsub swung the hammer as hard as she could at Reid's already mangled knee.

Reid screamed, and it was so loud and so long it seemed like it would never end.

Hotch didn't blame the kid for screaming, any of them would have.

But he knew that Reid would blame himself.

_A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now. – Thomas Pynchon_

_**What do you think? Let me know!**_


	12. the mother of all choices

Chapter 12

_**Hey guys, thanks again for all the amazing reviews =) I have to apologise I'm surprised it took this long for someone to mention it but if you haven't noticed already my stories are full of spelling errors and grammar mistakes. I'm really sorry I double check them but it's like new ones pop up every time I turn my back so yah…**_

_**As always thanks to my wonderful readers, reviewers, and subscribers you guys make my day! **_

_You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. In every moment of our existence, we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices. – Deepak Chopra _

"Oh Reid." Emily's face hovering beside Hotch's was white as their youngest team member joined the realm of the unconscious.

The screen went black and Hotch wanted to swear but he didn't have time. They popped the DVD drive and before any of them could react the screen flashed.

"Reid's back!" Hotch practically shouted. "Someone needs to get Garcia and call Morgan."

Seaver nodded and headed for the door.

The unsub came into view on the screen wearing her ski mask again. Reid looked to still be unconscious slumped forward in his chair. Hotch tried to avoid looking at his leg as much as possible because every time he did it made him get a funny feeling in his stomach and a lump in his throat.

Reid would be lucky to ever walk normally again.

She walked up to Reid, lifted his head, and slapped him hard across the face without warning jolting him awake.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Spencer Reid woke to a slap across the face and the subsequent sting that followed. He opened his eyes dreading what he would see and felt relief course through him when he realised that it was only his captor. They hadn't taken any of his team yet, he was sure of it. Otherwise they'd want to show him, taunt him, make him feel guilty.

He smiled and immediately tried to wipe it off his face but it was already too late, she'd seen it.

"What are you smiling about?"

"My team, they're still safe." She growled low under her breath.

"Not for long, Dr. Reid. It's time to play another game." Reid's insides tightened.

"What kind of game?" He hated the terror he felt showed so clearly in his voice.

"Oh Dr. Reid." She sighed loudly. "You know for a genius you really do ask far too many questions. This games involves you telling me which one of your team will be joining us here."

Reid felt his eyes grow wide as the realization of what she meant sunk in.

"You want me to choose."

"Yes Dr. Reid I want you to choose." She picked at the dirt under her nails as if she were bored. And maybe she was, Reid thought rather savagely. After all, kidnapping himself and threatening his team weren't exciting at all. No, this had to be a downright snore.

"I won't do it." He snarled. "I won't choose which one of the six of them you hurt."

"Seven." His captor murmured under her breath. "There are seven I will allow you to choose from. JJ isn't technically one of your team members any longer but she was and she involved herself so I'll let it slide." Reid shook his head back and forth to try and make it all make sense. When had JJ shown up? "Now who will it be? The stoic Aaron Hotchner? He might not last long still recovering from being shot like he is but it's worth a try. Besides, he put the whole team in jeopardy by refusing to let you give yourself to me – oh yes I know all about that. Perhaps the brave Emily Prentiss? You did a good job of knocking her out yourself. She should have been more careful, seen what you were up to and stopped it, right? Or perhaps Agent Seaver, give her a crash course in what this job can really be like? Get her head out of books where it isn't doing any of you any good. How can a team be expected to keep its members safe when one of them isn't even qualified?"

"Shut up." Reid's head was pounding.

"Oh no, Dr. Reid, I'm just getting started. There's JJ. After all, if you hadn't split up that night in the cornfield you wouldn't have been kidnapped and you wouldn't be here now. How about it, Spencer Reid? Feeling vengeful? Would you like to see her blood lining this floor? See her heart stop–"

"I said shut up!" Reid screamed it as loud as he could then turned his eyes to the blinking video camera behind her. "Guys don't listen to her, this isn't any of your faults!"

"Oh I beg to differ. How about Rossi, hum? He's too old, been at this too long, to make amateur mistakes yet where was his good judgement when he sent you home from the hospital alone? He was too busy worrying about the precious team leader, about Hotchner because the man means more to the BAU then you do. And maybe, just maybe, a little part of him did it on purpose. Perhaps a part of him was angry at you for nearly getting Hotchner killed? Which is lucky, because it allowed you to hide my note. Aaron realised what he'd done immediately of course but by then it was already too late…"

"I'm not listening to you, you're a liar!"

"Oh no, I'm not a liar. I'm simply one of the few who sees the truth for what it really is, and the truth is that those you thought were your friends betrayed you."

Reid moaned. "They didn't, it's not true." He wanted to pull his hair out but his hands were still tied, the skin beneath them rubbed raw, starting to bleed.

"It is true, Dr. Reid. How about Garcia, hum?" She turned to the camera. "Hello, Garcia." She turned back to him. "Hello bubbly, bright, happy Garcia. So damn weak." She snarled. "If you stopped crying for a moment, stopped sniffling and carrying on, you might actually be able to do your job well enough to catch me. And then there's Morgan. You thought of him like a brother but was your brother interested in staying with you? In protecting you? No, your brother was too busy fussing over Garcia. He knew that you were in the most danger, that he was the strongest, and he chose to use that strength to protect someone else because, honestly, you'll be screwed over every time Morgan has to choose between you and his Baby Girl." She went silent, letting what she had said sink into him. He told himself he still wasn't listening and pushed her words out of his mind.

"You're twisting everything. You're trying to turn me against them but it won't work! They're my family, you can't make me do this." Reid was desperate. There had to be a way out of this, there had to be. He was just too damn thirsty and starving and in pain all over to find it.

"I'm not twisting anything, just stating facts, and I certainly can make you do this. How is your precious team anyway? I heard they set up base in Hotch's hospital room, the nurses must just love that." Reid felt his whole body go cold. "Morgan's supposed to be getting tests done on the needle my partner stuck you with, am I right? Except the police man who found it wasn't a police man at all. He was the one who stuck you with the needle. Garcia went to see if she can get a visual of the non-existent man and car one of my other men pretended to see as he walked right in and dropped off another package. When you came back on the screen Seaver went to find her and call Morgan. Alone. A nice male nurse in scrubs offered to escort her…" Reid felt dread build in his chest. No! It was so easy, they'd all just walked right in and split up his team mates one by one.

"You mother fucker. If your men hurt any of them I swear to god I'll–"

"You'll what? Kill me?" She laughed and it was a scary laugh. "Are you really in a position to be making threats like that? Besides there's no need to worry, none of them will get hurt as long as you cooperate."

"You mean as long as I tell you which one of my team mates you're going to kidnap?" Reid's voice was bitter.

"Yes, Dr. Reid, as long as you tell me that. Life's a bitch, sometimes it involves making terrible choices." She produced a phone from her pocket and dialed a number but didn't press connect yet. "You have thirty seconds before I tell my men to kill your three friends. After they're done with them, they'll go after the rest of the team. They're in a hospital, so they might take down civilians as well if they get caught in the crossfire…do you want that kind of blood on your hands?" She looked at her watch. "Your choice, you now have 25 seconds."

"Please you don't have to do this, it's me you want revenge on. For killing Tobias. They didn't do anything! I killed him before they even showed up."

"18 seconds."

"Why won't you listen , just kill me!"

"15 seconds." Reid's brain raced. He couldn't let any civilians or his team die. Hotch and JJ had families plus Hotch was hurt. Rossi was old, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Garcia, well Garcia was Garcia and Morgan was strong but he and Garcia needed each other. Seaver hadn't been taught yet how to handle these situations, she would only be a liability. That left just one person.

"5 seconds. 4 seconds. 3 seconds. 2 seconds. 1 second, Dr. Reid."

"Alright!" the word half slipped from his mouth. He looked straight at the camera trying to show her how much he hated this with his eyes. "I'm so sorry Emily."

_Guilt upon the conscience, like rust upon iron, both defiles and consumes it, gnawing and creeping into it, as that does which at last eats out the very heart and substance of the metal. –Bishop Robert South_

_**There ya go =) I'll update soon I promise! I hope you guys like it, I enjoyed writing this chapter and the last a lot (yah I know I'm odd).Enjoy!**_


	13. hello, Emily

Chapter 13

_** Hey guys! Once again can't say how much I love you all for your incredible support. Your reviews are so amazingly wonderful they just make me go all warm and fuzzy inside. You made me feel the need to write more than ever so I'm going to start back on my manuscripts that I've put away for much too long *guilty face***_

_** By the way, thought I'd let u guys know I just got twitter. I thought this would be an especially great way of keeping up to date those who don't have accounts so they don't get notifications or just for anyone who wants to discuss stories and criminal minds ect. and because I should have gotten it long ago. If you want to add me I'm Alison_M_B the M stands for my middle name which, as I've said in my profile, you will never get out of me even under pain of death (but you are free to guess, though I probably won't admit if you're right). Let me know it's someone reading my story(ies?) and you'll get extra brownie points =p also let me know if you are someone who doesn't get updates and want me to twitter you when I'll be putting up a new part (they won't be so often(once a week?) once we get into the school year. I'm starting my first semester of university and I am TERRIFIED.) **_

_** Enough with the hold ups! The show must go on! **_

_The caged bird sings with a fearful trill, of things unknown, but longed for still, and his tune is heard on the distant hill, for the caged bird sings of freedom.— Maya Angelou_

His captor pressed send and help the phone to her ear as it rang. "Release the others." There was a slight pause. "Emily Prentiss. You know what to do." She flipped her phone shut and Reid turned his face away from the screen. He felt so hollow inside.

"See, was that so hard?" He refused to look up, refused to acknowledge her. What had he just done? Prentiss was now in danger because of him.

"Emily Prentiss." She was clearing addressing the screen now. "I simply can't wait to meet you." Reid heard the click as she pressed the off button ending the feed.

Her feet padded towards him and then she was whispering right in his ear making him jump.

"Time to go for a ride, Dr. Reid." Something blunt (the baseball bat?) connected with the side of his face sending pain ricocheting through his skull and he screamed because it was like his whole head had been disconnected from his body. Stars flooded his vision. He only had time to think how sick of passing out he was before darkness rose up to meet him once again.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Emily Prentiss felt numb all over. Blood pounded in her ears. Hotch was on his phone already as the screen went black.

"I need police here and I need them now." Hotch wanted to scream the order, she could tell, but somehow he managed to keep himself in check. "Yes, I believe some of my agents may be in danger. We also have an agent here with me who needs 24/7 protection." Hotch listened for a moment, waiting. "Of course." He pressed end on his phone and released a huge sigh. "We have to make sure Morgan, Seaver, and Garcia are alright. The police are right outside and they're on their way in." He turned to Prentiss. "I don't want you going anywhere without at least 2 police escorting you. We can't trust anyone, they've proved that." Emily wanted to nod but she felt frozen in place, like she couldn't move. Hotch's expressions softened. "Don't worry, we'll keep you safe. We won't let them get to you as long as you're never alone, understand?"

"Hotch–" But the leader of the BAU shook his head. "I'm not losing another agent. I don't want to hear it."

Fifteen minutes later they'd found Morgan, Garcia, and Seaver. All three were fine. Morgan had been hit in the head in order for his captor to overpower him but other than that they just seemed a little shaken. All three had been tied up and left in the same storage closet. Hotch had just finished telling them about the DVD and video feed.

"No." Morgan shook his head and winced as he did so. His eyes flitted to Emily's face and she had to bite down on her tongue as a surge of anger coursed through her. Would people stop looking at her like she was going to disappear if they looked away for more than a split second. It was bad enough that any hope of privacy was now non-existent. She had to have an escort to the bathroom for god sakes!

"Morgan you should be lying down, the nurses said you might have a concussion."

"I'm fine." He ignored Hotch's pleas. "I have to see." Hotch shook his head.

"No you don't. You don't want to see this Morgan."

"Yes, I do. Don't tell me I don't want to see Hotch whatever they're putting Reid though I have to know." Emily watched Hotch lower his eyes in an uncharacteristic show of weakness.

"Garcia, bring the video up for you, Morgan, and Seaver to watch. After that, you guys are going to talk to sketch artists. They made a mistake when they showed us their faces, if we can trace them to their leader or even find a location that has common significance to all of them then we'll finally have something to go on." They watched the dvd and video feed and as they did so Garcia grew paler, Seaver squeezed her eyes shut, and Morgan's hands curled into fists.

"Son of a bitch!"

As Morgan uttered the curse the entire hospital lost power, plunging them into darkness.

"Prentiss's cell vibrated with a call and she grabbed it. She felt bile rise in her throat. This was it, show time. She flipped it open as quietly as she could.

"Listen carefully, alright? You have 2 minutes before the hospital generators come back on. If you don't want Dr. Reid to get a bullet through the skull then I suggest you be out in the back parking lot by then. Bring anyone and you both die. Understand?" Prentiss flipped her phone shut. She understood.

With all the commotion it was easy to slip out of the hospital room unnoticed and then she was racing down black hallway after hallway. She hoped she wasn't making any wrong turns, if she was Reid was a dead man.

She emerged into the sunlight just in time to see the windows of the hospital light up. They had power, which meant she was out of time. There was only one car in the back parking lot and she headed towards it, readying her gun and unlocking the safety. The windows of the car rolled down revealing Reid, bloody and in pain, stuffed unceremoniously in the backseat with his hands tied. When he saw her he tried to shake his head but had to stop as the pain brought tears to his eyes.

"Emily no!" She could see the man beside Reid now, holding the gun to his temple. She wanted so bad to shoot him but he was holding Reid like a shield across himself. There was no way she'd get a clean shot.

"Drop the gun Emily." It was the woman who spoke as she leant back, relaxed, in the driver's seat.

Emily felt a nervous laugh escape her lips. "Not a chance." She was glad her voice didn't break. "Let Reid go!"

"Really, that would take all the fun out of this wouldn't it. Now drop the gun." Reid whimpered slightly as the barrel of the gun at his temple was pushed farther into his skull.

"Don't do it Emily, walk away, get the team." God, he was so weak.

"Shut up." The man with the gun hissed. Reid cringed involuntarily and Prentiss couldn't take it any longer.

"Sorry genius," she said in her kindest voice as she threw her gun to the ground. "Guess we're in this together now." She felt a needle jam itself into her arm and her world tilted. Another was plunged deep into Reid's arm and then there was nothing more.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Prentiss felt like she'd been run over by a train when she woke. Every muscle in her body hurt, and her brain felt like it had turned to mush on her. After several tries, she managed to remember how to open her eyes. She was tied to a second chair, positioned at an angle across from Reid's about a metre and a half away. His head was tilted to the side and at first she thought he was still unconscious but when he spoke she realised he was only keeping his eyes shut.

"I'm so sorry." His voice was quiet and she barely heard it.

"Reid it's not your fault." She was struggling with a headache that was threatening to overwhelm her. She shouldn't have a headache, should she? Maybe she'd smacked her head on the pavement as she fell unconscious?

Reid struggled, just like her, to get his eyes open. When he finally did they were shining with unshed tears. "It is, this is all my fault."

"This is the bitch's fault that kidnapped you Reid, not yours!" Emily said through her teeth. Her head still pounded.

"My fault is it?" Prentiss recognised the voice instantly. The woman stood before them both her mouth an unreadable line.

"Yah your fault." Prentiss spit back eyes flashing. "It doesn't matter though. Your lackies showed their faces to our team mates, the team will trace us here soon."

"Oh I know." The woman smirked. "In fact I've already planned for that. I won't make the same mistake as Tobias, I won't leave this unfinished." Prentiss heard Reid cough loudly and turned her head to see him doubled over. "I mixed the drug I used to knock you out with a poison that I'm not going to be stupid enough to specify. All you need to know is that at the concentration I injected into both of you death occurs within two hours. You've been out for nearly 45 minutes. That leaves you with…well you both can do the math." A shiver rippled up Emily's spine as the realisation hit her. They were both going to die in little more than an hour if the team didn't find them, or if they didn't get themselves out. She watched Reid cough a little more carefully and felt even sicker.

Reid was coughing up blood.

_People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend.__–__Jim Morrison_

_**Looks like, one way or another, things are coming to a close soon! No worries though, I still have some tricks up my sleeve…muahahahaha**_

_**(I recently muahahad my friend and she told me, quite seriously, that I sounded very scarily evil and that it was because I was writing much too much disturbing criminal minds fanfiction. I told her she'll never stop me writing it! MUAHAHA! Okay…I really have to stop doing that…)**_

**_au revoir, until we meet again..._**


	14. the beginning of the end

Chapter 14

**As always you guys are the best readers and reviewers on the planet! Here's another part because you are all so wonderful! =P writing this from my new laptop!**

_The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. – Mark Twain_

For a second Emily felt like she couldn't breathe. If Reid was coughing up blood they didn't have a lot of time. Reid stopped coughing and groaned, head lolling back.

"Reid are you alright!" The headache she had was clearing but that only made her panic set in even harder because now she could actually think clearly. "Why are you doing this!" She was shouting at their captor now. She wanted a reaction, anything, she didn't care. She wasn't scared, she was way past that.

The woman laughed. "I'm doing this because your Dr. Reid over here killed the love of my life and he deserves to be punished."

"Reid, what is she talking about?" He tilted his face, opened his eyes, and fixed them on her.

"Tobias." He coughed again after he said it. In that moment all the references to Tobias in the letters, the videos, made sense.

"He killed Tobias because he was a psychotic with multiple personality disorder and frequent breaks with reality on a killing spree who tortured him!" Prentiss shot back before she could help herself. "Reid would have died if he hadn't killed Tobias." The woman slapped her hard on the face but Emily ignored the stinging.

"Don't touch her!" Reid strained at his bonds but she could see his whole body was in pain from it.

"Reid I'm okay." She wanted so bad to scream at the woman smirking before them. Instead she closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and told herself to stay calm. Her ears honed in on Reid's breathing. It was more laboured than it should be. He was already reacting so badly to whatever the bitch had injected into their systems.

Something clicked in Prentiss's head.

"You're lying." She could barely get the words out of her mouth. "You never drugged me, did you? I'm showing no symptoms but Reid is. You don't want me to die, you want me to watch. Otherwise you i have let Reid choose. The only reason you did was because it didn't matter which member of the team ended up here."

Their captor gave a shocked gasp, as if she were surprised. "Very good, I thought that would take you longer. But you didn't get it quite right. I did poison both of you, but I may have taken most of what was meant for you and injected it into Dr. Reid over here, just to be safe. You'll start feeling what he is, it just won't be nearly as quickly. You aren't eye candy either girl. How do you break someone who doesn't care about himself? You break the people he does care about." Prentiss's stomach dropped, but she tried not to let her fear show. "Dr. Reid doesn't have much longer, but what time he does have he's going to have to spend watching us have a little fun."

"Please don't hurt her!" Reid was struggling even harder against his bonds.

"Reid stop." She kept her voice even and calm. "I can handle this." She wasn't sure she was going to be able to live up to that, but she was damn well going to try.

"That's the spirit. You're completely wrong of course, but I believe it's always best to look at the glass as half full, don't you?"

"Go to hell."

"Oh sorry agent, I believe Dr. Reid already tried that one. Guess you're stuck with me." She disappeared behind their chairs and try as she might Emily couldn't see anything. Before Prentiss had time to worry she was back in sight, standing in front of them.

But now Emily wished she had stayed behind them. Sometimes, fear of the unknown isn't worse. Sometimes when you know what's coming, that makes it even harder.

In one hand the woman held a long branding iron, at the end of it was a cross. In the other she held a blowtorch.

It was painfully obvious. Emily watched her heat the metal till it was glowing red and tried not to let herself panic as the brand came closer. She knew if she moved it would only hurt more. Even so, she flinched as their captor pushed the collar of her blouse back exposing her neck. She wanted to plead so bad, she did, but she kept her mouth shut because she knew it wouldn't do any good.

"For God's will." Their captor whispered.

Prentiss bit down on her tongue just as the brand touched her skin.

She screamed anyway, she couldn't help it. She could feel her flesh sizzle, even smell it as a small plume of smoke spiralled from her skin. It was agony, but instead of asking for her to stop she clenched her teeth and fought through.

Finally she pulled the brand from Prentiss's skin an Emily sighed in relief. The air was like cold water on her angry red skin. Prentiss turned her gaze on Reid and the guilt and sadness in his eyes almost made her break down. He blamed himself for every moment of this, and nothing she said could change that.

Their captor was watching the silent exchange between them and the ends of her mouth turned up in a smile. "What next, Dr. Reid? Any suggestions." He was trembling so bad, but Prentiss couldn't tell if it was fear or the poison working its way through his veins.

Reid spewed his guts all over the floor in front of his chair and as he did Prentiss felt a wave of nausea hit her and her body suddenly felt as warm as the brand had against her skin.

_ Hotch, where are you? _

_The ignorant mind, with its infinite afflictions, passions, and evils, is rooted in the three poisons. Greed, anger, and delusion. – Bodhidharma_

_**There will probably be only one or two more chapters to this, then I'm going to start a new story. If there is anything you would like to see me write let me know =)**_


	15. fin

Chapter 15

_** Here we are, the last chapter. I am amazed **__a__**s always that you all actually consider anything that comes from this crazy brain of mine worth writing and this journey has been an honor. You are wonderful =) and your reviews make my day when I receive them. Ps, sorry this isn't as long as I thought it was going to be holliefjsmith hope you still enjoy.**_

_What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer. – Douglas Adams_

Their captor disappeared behind them again and started rummaging and clanging.

Which was lucky, because that meant she didn't hear the new set of muffled voices that joined the fray upstairs or the sounds of a struggle that followed.

Reid did though, and he had never been more grateful because it was harder to breathe by the moment. He glanced at Prentiss and from her rigid position she'd heard them too.

The team had arrived.

A wave of dizziness hit Reid and he leant forward wretching again, though all that came up this time was bile. He tried to ignore the fact that his genius brain was telling him bile was definitely not supposed to be red. He coughed a couple of times and then he couldn't ignore the blood because it was getting all over him.

"Reid!" Emily was watching him nervously.

"I'm fine." Reid lied but the fact that he weezed the words proved that he wasn't and he didn't like the way his dizziness was making the edges of his vision go black.

A gunshot rang out just outside the basement door and both of them jumped.

All at once, he felt cold metal pressed against the side of his head.

"Don't move a muscle, Dr. Reid."

The dizziness was so bad now that he had to close his eyes but he could hear as their team burst through the basement door.

"Drop the gun." That would be Morgan, Reid figured. His anxiety was gone and all of a sudden he was feeling almost sleepy. The only thing keeping him awake was an annoying tightness in his sheet. That wasn't supposed to be there, was it?

And if he was sleepy, why was his heart racing so fast?

Someone was talking to Morgan now but Reid couldn't hear what they were saying and he didn't care. It was so much easier not to think because nothing made any sense anyway except that the tightness in his chest was turning to pain. He heaved in, needing to breathe, but air didn't find his lungs. Instead, it was like he had sucked in water. He reeled forward coughing up blood.

He heard Emily shout no as a shot rang out but he was too busy coughing to process anything else. Blood continued to flow through his lips as the team ran forward but no matter how much he coughed up there was just more to replace it. Distantly he felt hands untie him and he could hear Prentiss shouting something but none of it mattered. He game one last strangled heave, lying on his side now, then gave up as pain racked his body. It was no use, he was so tired and everything hurt.

It hurt so much that Spencer Reid stopped fighting. Instead, he embraced the darkness that called to him even as Morgan screamed at him not to.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Reid heaved in a deep, easy breath and flicked his eyes open to tell Morgan to stop screaming at him.

He forgot all about that, of course, when he realised that he was floating near the ceiling.

He watched as down below Morgan yelled that he wasn't breathing and started CPR.

This wasn't right, none of it. How could he be up here and down there at the same time?

Realisation hit him.

No, no, no!

Was he dead?

But before another thought could enter his head Reid felt a powerful pull towards his body as Morgan pushed down on his chest again and just as he let the darkness take him before he let the pull of life take him now.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Morgan, Rossi, JJ, Seaver, Garcia and Hotch who had just been released sat in the waiting room anxiously. They'd been waiting for nearly an hour and a half and Hotch was about ready to pull his hair out. An unnatural quiet had descended on the team, the kind of quiet that only comes when you aren't sure if you're going to see someone again and you left things unsaid. Garcia was staring blankly into space, sobbing quietly, while Morgan was looking at the same hands that had brought Reid back to the land of the living. Rossi was his normal collected self but, profiler as he was, Hotch could see the worry in the rhythmic tapping of his foot. JJ was staring at a picture of Henry and Seaver was pacing, exactly what Hotch would have done if he'd been able.

It had been so hard for him not to be a part of the raid on the warehouse, and then the news that Reid and Prentiss had been poisoned.

A young woman in scrubs made her way into the waiting room and Hotch jumped up, ignoring the pain.

"Spencer Reid and Emily Prentiss." Hotch nodded and they all surrounded the chunky blonde. "We managed to isolate the poison they had both been injected with. Emily Prentiss is fine, she should be released in a couple of hours, but Agent Reid lost a lost a lot of blood and his lungs were severely compromised. We managed to stabilize him but he lost a lot of blood and slipped into a coma. I'm worried that if he doesn't wake soon–"

"Can we see him?" Hotch felt sick inside. She nodded.

"I don't see how it could hurt."

XXXXXXXXXXX

o

Hotch, definitely Hotch.

_I'm here Hotch, I can hear you. _He tried to say the words out loud but his mouth wasn't following orders any more than his eyelids were. God, what was wrong with him?

"Reid I'm so sorry, you should never have had to go through that." This was a new voice and it cracked. He knew immediately who it was this time.

_No JJ, I'm the one that should be sorry. _

Another voice sobbed quietly in the corner and he knew who that was too.

_Don't cry Garcia._

"He'll be okay baby girl." Morgan. God, were they all there?

Prentiss, was she alright? Reid felt panic course through him. He had to ask, had to find her, but damnit he couldn't move! He was pulled out of his panic as the door to his hospital room squeaked.

"Reid." A new voice joined the fray. It was so quiet and soft he had to strain to hear it. Still, he knew who it was.

_Emily._

"God Reid you're so strong, stronger than any of us." He hated that it sounded like she was going to cry. "I'm so proud of you." She was kneeling beside his bed now, he could tell because her voice was right at his ear.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Prentiss watched as Reid's eyes flickered open.

"Em, you're alright."

_Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. – Winston Churchill_

_**Aw, I'm going to miss this story! *sniffs*. Thank you everyone who stuck with me, especially through all the times when the chapter updates could not exactly be considered regular. Let me know what you think and please if anyone has any idea for a new story they would like to see me write don't hesitate to let me know, I would be happy to write it =). All the best to everybody, I should be back with some new insane idea soon =). **_


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